Oh no!

This is way tense.

You are building tension so effectively that I can't stand waiting to see what the horrible events were - and I can';t tell if this is ever going to work out. The narrator is really, really sympathetic, for all that he's kind of a jerk.

hey this sound farmiliar. oh this is one of the ones i started to read and haven't got back too. oh pretty please can you leave the orignal up? for a little while?

i like this chapter. the boy has sass. now i am going to skip over to the other one ha ha. ;P good start.