|Reviews for Petite Mort|
| simpleplan13 11/26/10 . chapter 2
Review Marathon this weekend (link in my profile!)
I like this. It's such a true statement and description of how people (not just men) are in war or when they're angry. The word hypnotized is really great too. It describes how overpowering the sword and the emotion behind it are.
| amavian 10/15/10 . chapter 10
liked the use of idols
| amavian 10/15/10 . chapter 9
gravity is really strong here.
| amavian 10/15/10 . chapter 8
homage to the woman
| amavian 10/15/10 . chapter 7
silent drum...hum...just for looks?
| amavian 10/15/10 . chapter 6
favorite so far.
| amavian 10/15/10 . chapter 5
i really like this one.
| amavian 10/15/10 . chapter 4
i get it but i dont.
| amavian 10/15/10 . chapter 3
the weapon and the dress wound, seems to mean that the things other then ourselves kill us, rather than the other way around. nice.
| amavian 10/15/10 . chapter 2
i like how they're hypnotised by their weapons. nice.
| amavian 10/15/10 . chapter 1
last line seems awkward, but i like the idea.
| Kikyuu 10/11/10 . chapter 8
Really adored the almost-rhyming of the middle line, "shards itself to stars for you;", and the imagery of a soul fragmenting into something beautiful.
One thing that could possibly be improved is the first line, which is more of an lead into the brilliant second line, and could perhaps be reworked to stand more on its own merits.
(from The Review Game)
| thewhimsicalbard 10/8/10 . chapter 2
[RG - Poems - Easy Fix]
An interesting choice, to start this haiku off with the word humility; that contrast is intense. I like where the poem is going from this point, although I'm not so sure how well the enjambment after "of" works for you. Unless I'm much mistaken, the point of enjambment is to toy with the expectations of readers. As a reader, I expected something to the effect of what you wrote. Sorry if that seems nit-picky.
Hypnotized, on the other hand, is just fantastic. I was absolutely fascinated by the word choice there. It drew me in. It's a very strong attention-grabbing device; excellent work.
| Heartafire 10/7/10 . chapter 7
| carla 10/4/10 . chapter 1
This is really good. An interesting idea.