I like this story. It has a sharpness of observation that I like, that I’d like to see more of. The characters are distinct and vivid (well, Cody anyways) and the developments of the plot work well. I think this is an example of what I was talking about earlier, about the embodiment and the sense of vividness. You go further here than in other stories to place us sensually in the scene, and it works. It makes the reversal at the end more poignant and the story more enjoyable throughout.

HOLY SHIT THIS RELATIONSHIP IS SO AMAZING. I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. IT'S SO DIFFERENT THAN ALL THE OTHER ONES YOU'VE WRITTEN AND OMFG TOTAL LOVE FOR THIS.

BU THAR TYPO.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I stared at Dalton and tried to cloud the image of Cody smirking at me with a cigarette sticking out of his lips. I didn't succeed.

(BUT HE DIDN'T KNOW CODY'S NAME YET.)

BUT OTHER THAN THAT HOLY EFFING SHIZ MAN THIS IS DEFINITELY ONE OF MY FAVOURITES.

*smiley*

this was cute. that's really all. it was good, cute, happy-making. i like :)

Once again, your attention to detail takes your humor from the ordinary to the brilliant. The line about Cody's birthday and his allergy to shrimp was priceless. Those same details (like "until I remembered there was no light") also serve to really highlight those important romantic moments (which totally make me go "aw"). :P

I would still suggest a beta reader... Little typos and omitted words (and strange word substitutions... "I best to myself that Cody..." ?) jump out here and there and take me out of the story.

So adorable. :)

A little more details would be nice but otherwise it was a really good chapter.