|Reviews for Reclaim|
| Nix againfor a change in pace 8/13/11 . chapter 4
Can't wait to see where this is going. Anyways, how long ago is this supposed to be, about ten years ago?
| Nix yet again 8/13/11 . chapter 3
I'm really enjoying this. I was hoping to find out something about Vanthus' Flow, though. Speaking of which, I'm surprised I haven't seen anything relating to Flow yet.
| Nix again 8/13/11 . chapter 2
This really is interesting. I think it would be cool if Layne made an appearance in the RP.
| infinityphoenix 8/13/11 . chapter 1
Interesting. I'm guessing that the name at the end was no mere coincidence? I'm hoping that this will be enlightening.
| MrMissMrs Random 8/13/11 . chapter 4
IT LIVES! And we see more ties, didn't know Vanthus was Anya's brother... guess I do now. XD It'll be interesting to see what happens when they all get together. But Question: at the start of RS, how much time has passed since the Storm? I thought it had only been a few months to a year of two, but I don't know anymore. XP
| Ed Harley 2/1/11 . chapter 3
Chapter one was a good introduction for the story, the scenes with the annoyingly persistent little sister were pretty humorous; the flash forward to the post disaster world set up the mystery well. The post disaster scenes from chapter 2 seemed inconsistent, it's labeled 'day one' but later a character implied that the storm happened at least a month earlier. When the main character met the children I expected more questions to be asked, wouldn't they be curious about each other? I enjoyed the scene with his sister in chapter three. In the post disaster scene I didn't understand why the protagonist had such trouble waking up in the middle of a monster attack; and I might suggest different weaponry (spears with stone heads could be replaced by axes, baseball bats, guns ect.) and food (scavenged canned goods would be more suitable than berries).
I have a few suggestions:
1) I almost lose my grip and pummel to the ground- plummet
2) I have with crumbs of crackers and the water I could salvage. - I have filled it with a few crumbs of crackers and all the water I could salvage.
3) He looks toward me with his deep, pale blue eyes. A rather dull shade of blonde hair covers his head. He's wearing a small beige vest with a red scarf. When I reach a hand toward him- does the protagonist have a flashlight to see the boy so clearly at night?
4) The protagonist mentions how dark it is, but he can apparently see all of the children inside of a circus tent- where it should be even darker.
5) Even though I don't like Halloween, I can at least I sat down and waited- ... sit down and wait.
6) The sky is a gradient shad of blue and violet- should be 'shade', unless you meant the fish.
| The Bookmaster 11/1/10 . chapter 3
This was actually sweet.
What I don't get is that the appocalypse was spose to happen a year previous,a few months after Silence joined the Marines.
How can the adults be kids?
| love equals rubber duckies 10/18/10 . chapter 2
So, how long ago did the storm happen before the RP? That's what's been confusing me. Lillian was about nine? Ten maybe? When it happened and now she's about...twenty? In that case, most of our characters wouldn't even remember the apocalypse. XP Also, I think your introduction for Silence was a bit confusing. I don't remember him being there before...but then again, I'm a bit stupid. :/
Either way, this is a really interesting story. Keep it up!
| Shadoe Mayari 10/17/10 . chapter 2
*blinkstares* OHCRAPITSTHEYOUNGADULTS. :P
Definitely didn't see that coming. Hey, will we get to see how Vanthus got his mechanical arm? :D That'd be cool.
| The Bookmaster 10/17/10 . chapter 2
Although he shouldn't talk much, which you nailed, and you also didn't reveal an appearance, which is also good.
I like this chapter also cause see more of Layne's resolve to find his sister.
| FANG Productions 10/11/10 . chapter 1
HI LASTY. Guess who I am? 8D
Cool summary. I liked the mystery of it, and use of the title.
There was a point in the second paragraph where you state "She gets to the point where she jumps and my bed, clenches me sheets tightly, and throws them clean off the bed." The 'jumps and my bed' part doesn't make sense. Typo? XP
The cherry blossom "Please? No." part is very very cute. Made me smile
Though somehow I knew he was going to fall. The pillows and the smile turned me into a pile of mush.
Then, I read the last bit, and though I didn't really get it, reading Suvi's (I'm guessing) review, I'm guessing that something happened to Lillian to turn her mean (or something) and this is her brother trying to get her back? Dunno.
Ah, whatever. I wonder if Layne's actually going to get Lillian back?
Great job with this, unlike my review. Sorry if things are a little choppy; I typed this as I wrote, so there's no connection between my points...
| love equals rubber duckies 10/11/10 . chapter 1
Gah, this was really good. Very descriptive. I think that the sudden change in time depicted the dream very well. However, the if you have the plotline planned like this; Layne eventually meets Lillian, obviously realizing she's not dead/gone, I think that might be a bit too cliché.
Either way, good luck! :)
| Shadoe Mayari 10/10/10 . chapter 1
Lillian, as in the evil GM Lillian? o.o I thought her childhood was more of a Creepy Child sorta thing...
And so we have a completely original character to take on as the protagonist... This vill be interesting.
Use Adeline or Magic if ya like. I dun really care, but if ya need them, you know who to ask.
| The Bookmaster 10/10/10 . chapter 1
Please tell me Silence an appearance.
And if you didn't plan on using him, you have my permission to.
Anyways, awesome chapter, I think everyone in a post-apocalyptic world wants at least one thing back.