Great story!

PLEASE UPDATE THIS. I started reading this yesterday and I am so addicted! You have an amazing story that is so detailed and I love all the characters. I am really sad that I've caught up and this chapter ended in such a cliffhanger, so I am hoping that this story is updated soon! PLEASE.

Wow. I realize that this story is almost over, which makes me upset.

I miss Jenna and Eidan being best friends! But Jenna had to grow up sometime. This did it, lol.

Is Vincent going to be the main character, or one of them, in the sequel? :)

I've only read a few chapters but I can see you are a very good writer with a strong grip on the fantasy world you create. The characters are also slowly revealing themselves while a hint of mysteries to come is being given. Since this is an original story, I am earnestly telling you that you should, in fact you must approach as many publishers you can to get yourself published.

You surely are a heartbreaker. This chapter was unbelievably sad ;_; I'm all for romances like Jenna and Eidan's, but... they technically broke up again. And the worst thing is that it's not because of what Eidan has done to Jenna, but simply because she feels that they don't belong together. Absolutely heartbreaking.
Some positive things: I really liked how you described Jenna in this chapter as someone who became a mother too soon. She's still nothing but a kid at some times and not even close to finishing growing up herself, but later in the chapter, she does act like a proper mother. I like how you describe two completely different aspects of her but still keep her in character. She's grown up, but she hasn't grown up so much that it isn't unrealistic. I'm impressed!
Your cliffhanger is terrible and I have to read on. And also because I can't believe that they'll split up. I just refuse to. They HAVE to get back together in some way. I don't care how.
Keep writing!

I just found this story a few days ago and I couldn't stop reading it every chance I got. I think it's actually amazing, though I feel like too many different things happened or are happening and it just gets confusing. I'm also not really liking Jenna. She's really confusing and she needs to get her priorities straight! I feel like before she was definitely too attached and dependant but her trying being independant isn't really working for her. I'm not sure if you meant it to be that way and if so, then great job, and it's perfectly understandable that a character like her exists in a story like this. It's hard to explain. Basically what I'm trying to say is that I despise Jenna's character but I understand why she's in the story.
Anyway, I still love you story and please try to update asap!

Can't really blame Jenna for acting that way. SHE GOT RAPED! SHE WAS VIOLATED! Rape is a big deal, not something that you can be flippant about and just move on like it was nothing. Even though he wasn't himself when he did it, it was still his body that violated her in the worst way. And yes she's traumatised and she's not using it as an excuse. She might never get past what happened and you know what that's not her fault and it certainly doesn't make her selfish. It's not something you just get over because they used to be best friends or that he can't help his origins or because they share a child.

You have no idea how happy I was to see an update for this story since it's been a while. But after reading this chapter I'm not sure if I'm happy anymore! The part with Eidan and Jenna in the ballroom was just so sad and heartbreaking. I understand what Jenna has gone through has really affected her but I do wish that she wouldn't push away Eidan so much. He's really trying to get her back but she's too scared and she just says mean things and argh it's all so sad! I wish they would just end up together and Vincent will have a dad and they'll be a family!

I'm glad Lucan is back though. Really excited to read the next chapter because I'm guessing that it should be action packed if Lucan is involved.

Yeah I'm really lazy these days when it comes to catching up with stories but I happened to be editing my review policy so I figured I might as well review this now.

I read this on my iPod the first time and I don't know that I really want to go look over the entire chapter again to do the usual nitpick thing so I'll probably keep that to a minimum. Instead I will just point out whatever stood out to me in this chapter.

[Jenna snapped. "No! You haven't even known him for two weeks! How would you know what my son would deserve? You have nothing to do with him!"]
-Well only except, you know, about half of his genes and existence.

["I deserve better than this curse and everything it has put me through.]
-Um, according to *you*, you deserve better, but what gives you that idea? Especially considering how dislikeable she's become since then, maybe she does deserve it. /shot

But seriously, still really not liking Jenna. Honestly, she might be thinking she deserves better, but now it really looks more like Eidan's the one who deserves better; it's not like it's his fault his origins are in darkness. And for someone who "belongs with the light", Jenna sure is a sulk. I get that she's still traumatised about the whole incident but now that's almost becoming an excuse for her to be selfish and I don't have any reason to warm to someone like that.

Your story is depressing. In case I never mentioned this before.

Lucan \o/ I still really want to know what happens with him because I still think he's innocent... ish... but he's been damaged by all the tragedies around him and has yielded to the darkness so at least so far he's still the character in whose resolution I'm most interested. If he dies I will find a sure way to get revenge, and you know I will. :Db

I don't know, wasn't a huge fan of all the stuff about the ball and dresses and suits and whatnot but I guess it does have to be there for transition purposes and such. I think maybe it's just me not really caring about clothes and parties so that's probably more of a personal view.

Things are moving along nicely though. Great to see this story has quite the fanbase as well, though I wouldn't say that comes as a surprise.

...That review still turned out long, didn't it. orz

There is no words, this chapter was so emotional, I almost cried! I love, love, love it! Oh Jenna...I know it must be hard for her, but it upsets me that she's pushing Eidan away when he's just trying to correct his past. And the ending! omg...ugh Lucan!

This is so sad! I wish Jenna and Eidan would just get back together

Bhaahha I love that opening scene with Mana and Jenna. A ball? What a king to agree to that one! But great idea on your part - crazy stuff always happens at balls! It's also fascinating to see the character change within Jenna - I imagine she would've been liking the idea of the parties way back when. WHat a change!

Gahh, I love the way the Eidan/Jenna plot is going. It's very realistic considering the circumstances - there's no immediate happy ending for those two, and if it does come, it'll feel so much more well-deserved. Jenna's inner conflicts are also very cool to read about. I don't know about the rest of the readers, but I trust Eidan, and so their little corset scene was cute. It certainly doesn't allow Jenna to completely trust him, but I like the slow pace down the path to forgiveness.

Wow, yup, really loved this bit. I love the conflict with Eidan and Jenna, and I'm not sure I can even pick sides with how much I love those two. You created the drama so well, and I love how it led into finding Lucan. Oh Jenna, so you claim you don't need people but then you walk into the arms of potential death. How ironic. Or, well, could be ironic if Eidan comes out (and I have a feeling Jen may be able to handle herself).

But yeah, your characters are great, this story is crazy complicated but amazing, and when it finishes, I won't really know what to do besides beg you to give me a signed copy when it gets published. ;)

I'm at a loss. I'm not sure whether I feel sorry for Jenna or whether I hate her. I'm really sad that she said all those things to Eidan but you can tell just how much the rape has affected her psychologically. I feel so bad for Eidan though! The fact that he tried to argue with Jenna showed that he was really desperate. Oh I'm making myself sad by writing this review. Everything is just so sad now. Lucan is back now too so I'm worried what the next chapter will be like. Please update soon!

I love, love, love this story. It's been a while though, since the last update, but I'm glad you're getting it done when you can.

As awful as what Eidan did to Jenna was, I feel so awful for him. And Jenna. It's just such a complicated situation. Eidan is such a good soul and he would never do anything to hurt Jenna on purpose, but he had without knowing. Now he has to live with the guilt for that, because obviously, he knows that regardless of whether it was purposeful or not, he still hurt her. Jenna, on the other hand, has to live with the guilt of pushing him away, even though, that even isn't her fault. Anybody would feel so conflicted with that kind of thing. I can't say I didn't get excited when she picked up the necklace, though. But she wouldn't be able to forgive him that easily, that much is evident. As much as I do like that Jenna is stronger now, I miss the old Jenna too. She was so sweet and innocent. It's like the personality that was in her transferred into Vincent now.

Anyways, I think you're doing a fantastic job with carrying this story. Normally, 50 chapters in, I would start thinking the story needs to end, but with this one, I don't really want it to and there's still so much that needs to be answered and finished that it really can't right now. So, my heart breaks for Eidan and Jenna and all I can hope for now is a happy ending and a quick update!

It's so difficult to find fantasy stories with a decent plot and writing style, so I'm so glad I ran into yours! Shoot girl, talk about complex. I love it!

I had an idea of starting my own fantasy story with the idea