|Reviews for The Wave|
| 3M2R 11/14/10 . chapter 1
this is a very deep write, just I don't know why you'd link it to a girl and her life. It had very distant link and really threw me off when i read it. If you had kept it simple as the wave, it would have left a larger impact on the readers.
I really love the description. it's so detailed! Very very well-crafted. It makes the waves seem so alive. Really.
The idea of a thunderstorm was conveyed to the readers with descriptions of sights and sounds we are familiar with, close to us.
I simply adore the repetition. I am really repetition sensitive, and i tend to pick out repetitions that don't normally matter when reading. Just irritates my eye. However, over here, it is so different!
'no bird disrupted its balance, only fish swam through its watery depths.' vs 'no bird flew over its demise, no fish swam in its broken depths'. This was really really well-done.
And the despair at the end (I'm talking about the wave here), 'but merely exist (existing?), in the memory of the world', was completely amazing.
From 'Far away...' onwards, it read like another story. As if the whole story/ scene of the wave living, growing and dying is just a prologue. Here, I think that the hope just killed the beautiful breakdown, and did nothing to really bring out the 'hope' that almost all stories leave the readers/ audience with.
Maybe... Just maybe, taking away all those after 'Far away' would be better?
| Silverbelle 11/7/10 . chapter 1
While the depression analogy at the beginning feels very vivid, what I love most about this prose piece is the strength and optimism you show. So much writing about depression never takes us to a place of perspective and illumination. I applaud you for ending on a positive note and showing that depression can pass, that it can be subdued and overcome.