Ah, your writing is always so beautiful. I love how you tied the first line back in near the very end. It gave the piece structure that helped fortify it. I adored the second stanza (the entire piece, actually, but the second stanza, especially), because of, “intersecting with/the anthropomorphic intercourse/of love at first delight” part. I just thought the wording there was so beautiful and such a strong way to begin a piece.

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"no arm cast over my like a veil any more."... over me

I like how you connected the beginning and the end with that line. It worked well to bring the piece together. Especially since at the end night is driving away the other inclination.

"of love at first delight;"... I liked that line. Using delight was a nice choice since it rhymed with sight, but is of course way less cliche.

The part about your mother threw me off a bit. I wasn't sure what the connection was between her and you other than the being outside thing. Was it supposed to imply she was in a similar situation once?

I liked the whole veil thing. You connected it to the night really well with the screen and then explaining it more by introducing the "you."

Nice job!

I liked it a lot.

"love at first delight"

Love the hedonistic twist.

A little vague round the edges

but beautifully sculpted

in a truly turpic tradition.

Night's always a good theme.