Wow I find this poem really amazing. My heart was going bom bom bom as I read it. I like the pace very much.

My favorite lines are:

Searching...

The alive trying to be as quiet as the dead.

Horror..terror...

Then, a crack of light, a voice

Horror...terror...

The search ends

I find these lines really intense and ... emotional? I can't seem to find the word for it. Ah how I love this type of tension in story/poem. Nice job!

Kalista Jia

the ending is sad, but true, someti es no matter how the hope is alive, just there's no one in the ending.

I'll review for you, if you review for me. ;p Just kidding, as much as I love it when people read/give feedback on my work, I'm not going to demand it. After all, I'm already here reviewing yours anyways. It was just my first reaction to a statement asking for something.

You wanted feedback on the ending, no? I think it's a little ambiguous; the reader doesn't know how the search ends, just that it did. Personally, I like that about it. I also liked how you used searching to tie the poem together; in a poem that is describing many different oddly angled snapshots, I think it needed that to give it a bit of cohesiveness.

Hope you get the feedback from 5 (now 4 :]) people you need. If you can't get it here you can always asks people around you, especially other teachers, as how can they say no to a student in need? xD

Loqwell