AHHH! OMG THIS IS SO GOOD! CONTINUE!

Whoa! Epic! I like the narration but... it does kind of pull the reader out of the story. Maybe confine it to the beginning.

I LOVE the riping stitches analogy! It's so perfect for what your describing!

Please write more? Yes! :)

Poor random dude at the top of the page... I liked him.

-Sincerely,

GGB