That was terribly sad. I'd definately be interested in learning more about this story.

That was terrible. Of course, I mean that in a good way. The horror of the situation was powerful.

Very well written and disturbing, a few typos but not too many. This is an insighful story that is unnervingly honest in places, and quite intriguing. Good luck with the novel.

It is "effective" precisely because you put the truth out there as it is, unvarnished. The way you depict suffering is real. Too real for most people, I think, who would be apt to dismiss it as "melodramatic" all because they don't want to dwell on and accept the fact that such suffering is real and possible.