"She's the only star bright enough to find in the big city

"... the phrasing here seemed awkward with to find. I think to be found would sound better.

"her truth is lie-like"... I like that. lie-like is a great word to make up and even better when describing truth.

I liked all the repetition of lines. It was interesting how it wasn't the same line repated again. It was something different.

I didn't like how you ended it with a period since the rest of the sentences weren't punctuated.

Overall though I really liked the piece. I was going to pick out the various lines I liked, but there were too many!

-Review Marathon this weekend (link in my profile)-

Intriguing. I like the superhero/rock & roll references, because they really help express that whole immortal attitude teenagers have when it comes to life. Nicely done. Keep writing! :)

The repetition of lines were certainly expressive.

The whole idea was creative as well,

I loved each line and the way you write,

In love with each verse I fell.

]

Okay, poems aside (which I suck at) I like the last line of the last verse, and the last line of the fourth verse.

Very good! ]

As strange as it felt the first time reading this, I really quite enjoyed the repetition. This entire piece is incredible, so the repetition of various lines was great because I think every line in this is brilliant and I enjoyed having to read certain lines over.

Ah, there are so many wonderful things about this piece. If I had to pick a favourite line, it would definitely be the one about-or wait, maybe, hmm. Ha-ha. It's difficult to choose a favourite, but I'm gonna go with the "The only gulp of cool on the hottest summer day" because I really enjoyed the tone. It was relaxed, almost slang with the "only gulp of cool".

Amazing piece you have here, Juliet. Always a pleasure reading your work.

-EF

I don't know for sure, but I think "My Chemical Romance" would approve.