wow! this so describes death and war! short sentences create tension while all the time drawing the reader in to read more!

I think that is a great dark war poem which describes how tough and horrible war is. You don't go into much detail which leaves me to immagine it more which I think is great! One thing I would say is that youn need to add a 's' to 'gun' on the first line. As you refer to more then one gun. :)