|Reviews for UpsideDown|
| Dreamers-Requiem 5/19/13 . chapter 8
All the flags of Lucas being a jerk are there, but you manage it effectively enough to show that she would still want something with him. I do think there could be a better balance though, between the negatives and positives, to show more of why she ignores the negatives. Overall, a good chapter, and you built up the tension and the mystery of where Simon was really well. Italics…blah blah blah, but I know you’re cutting down on them. Overall, a good chapter, and I’m keen to see where it goes; I keep hoping she won’t get with Simon, maybe that guy from the speed dating thing, but preferably not Lucas. Good stuff, keep it up, and I’ll be back to read more when I can.
| Dreamers-Requiem 3/30/13 . chapter 7
Aww. Although I did think Simon's teasing was bordering on slightly dickish, but I think you show their relationship well enough that it's easy to imagine he can get away with it. It's kind of sweet. I really like the style, as always, and the voice of the main character is interesting and fun to read. I like how you don't spell out that she got fired until she tells Simon, and it keeps a sense of tension there. It builds up nicely. Dialogue is witty and strong, and really shows a lot about the characters, although the use of italics is still bugging me. Anyway, great stuff. Am really enjoying the story.
| Dreamers-Requiem 12/18/12 . chapter 6
I feel like Simon and Ally are trying very much to manipulte her, to guilt-trip her. Whether it's a good thing or bad I don't know, it just depends on how she reacts to it. And both things will really say a lot about the characters. I think you need to show a bit more of her sister, too; right now, she's so unlikeable it's hard to really understand why Simon was with her or why Ally went back to her. Or why the new guy is with her now. It's hard to get a real grasp on most of the characters. Just something to work on. I think you really need to cut down on the italics, too, even cut them out all together. They become very distracting, and I may have said it before but they can jerk the reader out of the story. One of my tutors once said it's best to let your reader decide where the emphasis goes, and I think the whole style could really improve if certain words weren't, well, jammed down a reader's throat, in a way.
| Dreamers-Requiem 10/2/12 . chapter 5
I'm starting to like some of the characters less and less. Mel is a bitch, and the way Drina handles her...it just seems to me like she lets her get away with way too much. Mel is horrible, oblivious to the pain she's causing around her, and Simon at times just comes across as weak. I think I may have said it before, but I really think you should use less italics, if use any at all. They really add nothing to the story and just become distracting, especially when there's a lot used in a short space of time. I am hoping someone stands up to Mel, soon. I think as well you could focus on the feelings of Drina more in some places - at times, it feels like it's simply jumping from one event to the other, without giving the reader a chance to really absorb what's going on. Hope that helps some!
| Centimeter 6/30/12 . chapter 10
I love this story so far. Your keep the story flowing without forcing the plot. It's a good pace and the characters seem very realistic. I can't tell who Drina will end up with (if anyone). Keep writing!
| Viva-la-Mylo 6/29/12 . chapter 10
Lucas is an ass who should just leave and die-.- poor Simon I feel really bad for him I really like Dom lol he's cute update soon love!
| Reeech Beeetch 6/26/12 . chapter 9
I really like a forbidden feel toma story, but I'm not a fan of going for your older sister's husband. It's one thing to give comfort, especially to a niece who's lost her way, but a not even ex-brother-in-law? I almost feel it's incestuous. But of course, that's just me. Jasper so far is the most interesting character in the 9 chapters you've made. So what's the plot? Where's the conflict? Just my 2 cents worth ;-) Cheers!
| Eclipsesforeyes 6/24/12 . chapter 9
I love that this story isn't predictable and I love the characters update soon please!
| Viva-la-Mylo 6/24/12 . chapter 9
Lo its so funny the thing with jasper! It's so funny! I love it! Update soon love I really missed this story !
| Dreamers-Requiem 6/24/12 . chapter 4
Blah italics blah blah. :) Now onto the important stuff...aww, poor Simon. I can't imagine how painful it would be for him to find out Drina slept with his, well, rival's brother. And I kidn of like how she doesn't think of him while meeting Lucas. It makes her more realistic, if a little a self-centred, but I think that works. I would have mentioned about her not defending her sister, but I like the reaction she has, and it is mentioned...again, self-centred but realistic. I like how taken she is with him, too, and I think, overall, that whole interaction between the two was done brilliantly. Great stuff.
| Dreamers-Requiem 5/15/12 . chapter 3
I've mentioned the italics before, so I won't dwell too long on them. I will say, however, they are distracting, so I would strongly suggest changing them to normal text. The story itself seems to be picking up pace here; I have to say, I really don't like Mel. She seems to just throw away her responsibilities, without any consideration for the others. I did think, near the end, the way they made up was a bit quick, considering what Drina's said. Maybe have a bit more of Mel's reaction to it, show her thinking about it before discarding it, and then have Drina tell her she just wants her to be happy? Just a suggestion. Again, I'm still not sure of the age of the characters, especially Ally. Although it's been stated she's 17, in some cases she seems just a tad younger. I think you need a bit more consistancy, too; Drina seems to change her mind about Darren every couple of seconds. I'd say either make the change a little longer or show a bit more conflict in her thoughts, feelings, actions etc.
Really enjoying the story, and hope those comments help!
| TheIcyNorth 4/30/12 . chapter 8
I don't really like Lucas. Is there an alternative? :P
| Viva-la-Mylo 4/30/12 . chapter 8
I am seriously hating lucas right Bout now -.- he's a jerky jerk jerk anyways besides that I loved it! If was really food love I really like Simon and I kinda want something to happen between him and her but ItS all up to u so glad u updated I was missing ur reviews! Update soon love!
| Dreamers-Requiem 4/30/12 . chapter 2
Again, the main thing that stood out to me was the use of italics. Just cut down on them as, right now, I feel like in a lot of places the emphasis feels a little wrong. I like the drama you've added in here, and the relationship between Drina and Simon is really sweet. Her Mom seems like...well, harsh, sort of. It's good to see that Simon has someone on his side, though. [his seventeen-year-old into his arms,] Before this, I assumed the main characters were early-to-mid-twenties (that may just be me, though). Is there someway you could clearly show the reader the ages of the characters? The age of the daughter also struck me because, until now, I feel like there's been an implication that she's been younger. Especially with things like [Mel was giving Ally back?] I feel that, at 17, the daughter would have been old enough to make her own decisions and not be classed as someone to be given back...I also think the 'daddy' was a little off, a teenager would be more likely to say 'dad', maybe? Unless it's a mistake and she's meant to be seven, in which case I would say ignore that and maybe edit it to say seven, instead?
Hope that helps!
| Dreamers-Requiem 4/11/12 . chapter 1
Speed dating is something I haven't seen as the opening for a novel before. It's interesting, and I like how she's paying attention to someone else and not really noticing the guy in front of her. Good stuff. Seems like an interesting character, too, so, again, good job with that. The one thing I will say is that I found the heavy use of italics very distracting. A tutor of mine once said it was best to lay off the use of italics, as sometimes the reader's impression of what should be emphasised can be different from your own. (Not a bad thing.) And, well, here it is over-used. It was kind of making me wince by the end, which is a shame because other than that I did really enjoy the opening chapter.
I'll be back to read more soon.