... it hasn't even been that long :) I am the WORST about updating my stories... I update like twice in a week, and then I'll update again in a month, then I'll have 6 weeks or somethin, and then I'll get my muse back and do 3 chapters in a row... it's crazy! can't wait for an update! :D

isabel

Hey Mr. Literature freak? I gotta say this is THE GOODEST STORY I HAVE EVER READ ON HERE! and I DO BELIEVE YOU SHOULD UPLOAD A NOTHER CHAPTER. IF YOU DONT, I will be a very sad panda.

p.s. You should know who this is. If you dont, I will be a sadder penguin.

Great real chapter. :) Don't have time to write a full review, sorry :(

isabel

Honestly this story is amazing. I'm not much for mysteries but decided to try this one. And it's great! I love the plot and suspension. I can't wait to see how Avery knows him! The only thing I'd like to say is I wasn't too fond on the whole chapter with the dounuts point of view. Can't wait for the next chapter though!(:

Can mister doughnuts son take revenge on the bunny ninjas? that's be pretty fricken sweet. and Everitt is so fricken innocent lol :D (and for you're information I actually laughed when I said lol)

Uh... kinda weird. I would've preferred actually knowing whether or not the bullet actually hit Everitt... but it's your story. Are you going to go back to normal now? Because I read this story because of the seriousness and dry humor, not uhh... Ninja Bunnies? Not trying to be rude here, but I had to give my "tips for improvement" as it says on the bottom of this review box.

Update soon :)

isabel

Okay, you have to understand that FictionPress is a terrible place to get reviews for stories. It takes pure luck to get decent reviews. If you compare this site to, say, , you get MUCH more reviews there for crappy stories than you get reviews on this site for good stories. Plus, putting up "Fake" chapters like this only makes your chances of getting reviews worse. So, honestly, suck it up. Don't reply on strangers on the internet to encourage you to write more and say that you're a good writer. If you think you're a good writer is what matters here. Continue with this story, whether no reviews or not.

OMIGAWD no! Please don't discontinue this story! D:

But seriously. The thing is, on FP, not a lot of people review. It's just a fact. And if you freak out because of it, then people don't review, just to spite you.

Your story WILL get more popular, but It. Takes. Time.

You have to be patient. My FF story was only getting like one review per chapter, until I got to chapter 7 of my story. Then people started reviewing all over the place, and now I have 130 reviews, and 15 chapters!

But I waited! And you have to be patient! And you have to write because it makes YOU feel good, not because of the reviews.

So yeah. If you continue the story, that's fine and dandy, but you have to stop complaining about the reviews. If you don't, then could you possibly send the stuff in a PM? That would be great :)

isabel

Hi. This chapter was okay, I suppose. Perhaps you could have described more of what might have happened to the dead man in the store- like how did he die? I could kind of tell that you were rushing a little to get this chapter done, maybe not, but it had a different flow to it compared to your other chapters. I'm curious as to who's riding in the car behind them. Off to read the next chapter...

-BeautifulSacrifice

Dear Literature Freak,

I really love your story and I hope that Everitt doesn't get hit by the bullet. If he gets injured in anyway I will find where you live and kill you. I know that I would never do that because I am a nice person, but I figure that it is the only way to make sure actually listen to me. I can't wait until you update because this story is amazing, and I wish that the doughnut got a bigger part in this chapter because he is the best character I have read about in a long time.

Sincerely,

Abby

Nah, I'll write my own haha (I can't say lol because you said you'd slap me) So that was pretty intresting, I still think someone should go into a sugar coma and dream about them. Lovie you

Dear Literature Freak,

I really love your story and I hope that Everitt doesn't get hit by the bullet. If he gets injured in anyway I will find where you live and kill you. I know that I would never do that because I am a nice person, but I figure that it is the only way to make sure actually listen to me. I can't wait until you update because this story is amazing, and I wish that the doughnut got a bigger part in this chapter because he is the best character I have read about in a long time.

Sincerely,

Isabel in Lala Land

Lol, here's my real review:

I really liked this chapter. I love the dry sense of humor that Juliet has; she reminds me a lot of me. Haha. :)

NEVER stop writing just because people don't review. I know that sometimes (well, most of the time), I check my email and read the alerts that get sent to me, but I end up having to leave for ballet or class or something, so I don't have time to review.

I always tell myself that I'll do it later, but you know... I never *actually* do, just cause I have a lot on my mind.

Of course, there's the alternate, which could be that I would review and say something quick like "gr8 chappie update soon plz".

But I know that I HATE those type of reviews, so I usually spend a little more time on my reviews.

So yeah. That's my little lecture, hope you enjoyed it. I don't care if you didn't, you still read it, so HA! :P

Update soon! :D

isabel

Dang you weren't kidding about the cliff hanger ending, you gotta watch what tense you put the words in, sometimes you put them randomly in present tense when they should be past. See you monday in school :P

I'm very curious as to where you're going with this story! I mean, who are these people in the black cloaks, who really is Everitt, why did they take Trigger, why are the black cloaked people in Juliet's house? So many questions that only more chapters will satisfy. :) I'm looking forward to reading more.

- BeautifulSacrifice

P.S. I noticed your anonymous reviews were disabled- I had to log on to review this. If you able the anonymous reviews I'm sure you'll get a few more reviewers. Just a thought.

Oh, creepy! Geez! How could they NOT notice a man in her kitchen? Unless, *gasp* they're ninjas! :o Am I right? I'm right, aren't I?

...

What do you mean, no? They're not ninjas? Are they pirates?

...

Dangit.

isabel

P.S. Don't mind my weirdo freak mood. I'm happy and in love and don't BOTHER ME! :D Bleh! :) Update son!

Pinky likeys Everitt :D got the cuteness and the niceness to make up for juiliets rudeness...es... anyhoo write more!