|Reviews for Untitled|
| bart 2/7/11 . chapter 4
uhoh. there be a figth of food acommng
| bartholomue lazy pants 2/6/11 . chapter 3
this story is much more serious than your others. no crazy characters, absurd happenings, or constant irony. while all that stuff is great, this should be a good oppurtunity for you to expand your repetoire, not all your stories can be light. you know, your the most prolific author i've ever met.
| Fakety Mcfakename 1/31/11 . chapter 1
| Rainy Day Dreamer 1/31/11 . chapter 1
I like the descriptive words you used- clatter, sparse, flash- they really make the story come alive.
Just a couple convention things... 'journey,' not 'journy,' 'blurring,' not 'bluring,' etc, etc. You kind of remind me of my friend. She always spells 'journey' without the e and forgets to double consonants at the end of verbs when she adds -ing. Is it weird that I identify people like this? Also, she keeps on pointing and saying "Squirrel!" when we're outside, because she KNOWS I'll look.
Anyway, great first chapter. Keep doing that chicken, and I'll be looking forward to Chapter Two.