| Reviews for Wand |
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Kisho 2/20/11 . chapter 3Once again, a really good chapter. Probably the best of the three, if you ask me. _ Was really gripping, I found myself wishing the chapter was longer! xD Really liked the dynamic with Hikaru here, how we can't help but wonder whether or not he really is the mysterious boy from ten years back, and if he is, then why he's so cold now. Hanako and Kasumi seem more distinct this chapter than the last, too. Kasumi comes off as more level-headed, and Hanako as the wilder of them... that's the feeling I get from them. :3 Well, anyway, grouchy old Kisho can't find anything to complain about. Good work, I'll be waiting on chapter 4... you'd better make it as good as this one is, too! xD |
Kisho 2/18/11 . chapter 2Woow, this is a really big stylistic jump from the prologue. The versatility in your writing is pretty impressive! I like your characters so far. They seem pretty distinct, individual, and, well... interesting! If I had to criticize, though, I'd say Hanako and Kasumi, while different enough in their actions, seem sort of interchangeable in their dialog... Might just be 'cause it's the first chapter! _ And on one more little note, the use of parentheses really felt off, kinda broke the immersion. I'd use hyphens to write it as an aside, like "Fujisaki Sakura's - her mother, having changed back to her maiden name - relieved voice" or something like that. But hey look at me, why am I criticizing so much today? Be more positive, Kisho, more positive! Hehe. Well, regardless of how much I criticize you, I'll be waiting for your next chapter! _ |
Kisho 2/16/11 . chapter 1This is off to a good start! I like the story so far, it's very easy to read. I don't know if it was short, or if I read through it too quickly! XD I liked your memory scene especially (which is good 'cause it took up half the chapter.) It really paints a mental image, and it's all very realistically portrayed! That said, your descriptions are very... flowery. It's fine in the prologue, but it might feel distant and lifeless if you keep the same style of description. Well, I'm not good with descriptions, anyway, so take my advice with a grain of salt. _' Hehe, I talked too much. Either way, I'll be waiting for your next chapter. :3 |
Tandoku 2/16/11 . chapter 1Hm. Interesting. It certainly has potential. I like the way you handled that flashback. |
Eva-Ruby 2/16/11 . chapter 1I like it so far. Actually I really like the name... i think one word, names for books work really well. Anyway look forward to reading more. |