|Reviews for Missing|
| XxXKristie MarieXxX 2/24/11 . chapter 1
This is so intense all the way through it. But I really like it. Great job!
Adding to C2
| angrylove888 2/18/11 . chapter 1
I liked this. The mood of the piece is of pressing urgency, as can be seen with the burning questions and the stream-of-thought style. This is good, because this style and topic are easily relatable to a broad audience. However, might I make some suggestions? Although I like how you ran your sentences together to create a feeling of urgency and longing, it is a little bit confusing. Might there be a way to distinguish the sentences from one another without actually adding periods? It might be helpful to the reader.
Furthermore, who is the voice of the poem/story? This is also slightly confusing. You've beautifully voiced the raw emotions, but the reader is left wondering; who is this person? Are they a ghost? And, why did they die for love? Who was their lover? What happened between them? and, did he/she ever love this dead person? Unless you are going to add on to this story and make it longer, you might want to slip in some sensory images that describe your character and his/her lover. It leaves the reader more satisfied in the end- like they have a firmer grasp on characters and what is going on. Nobody likes to be left in the dark.
Overall, though, I really enjoyed the idea of this piece. Your portrayal of emotions is beautiful. keep up the great work. :)I'll be sure to check out more of your work.