format made it hard to read, which is a shame since you're so gifted at descriptions and word choice. i'm glad that i read through it, though. i would have completely been missing out if i hadn't.

Descriptive, nice. "we danced, the wartime body battlefields blazing and cried" I really liked that line. I think in here you need capital letters and separate paragraphs. It's just all to much to read.