|Reviews for First Shot of Whiskey|
| A Cat Happy Trick or Treat 10/22/11 . chapter 1
I like that the last line 'and that was it' is separated from the rest of the poem and really focused on because that is exactly how some drunk nights go. I have had one of those nights where I remember the first few shots then there is the blank (like the space in the poem) and then I sit there trying my hardest to remember whatever else happened and just say 'that was it...' and trail off. Great ending to the poem because it really tells the entire story right there.
I liked that you described the alcohol as 'the liquid fire' because I really do think whiskey is liquid fire.
I both liked and didn't like the word drizzled. I liked it because it was a different way to look at alcohol and how it moved through you. But I didn't like it because I felt that it slowed down the image of the alcohol going through him, however I guess that is how you remember the first shot of the night when you forget everything else.
Overall I really liked this poem. :D Good job.
| Narq 6/4/11 . chapter 1
POETRYDEPTH for April WCC (LATE)
Descriptions/images: I thought the imagery was really well handled. It's so easy that anyone could imagine it: a man drinking. But then, that's just the big picture; when you think of the details of the words: liquid fire, lips... you wonder what on earth the writers talking about... then you follow it down his belly. I think the first time I read it I was confused, almost wondering if this was M rated, lol. But then I looked back at the title and it CLICKed! XD
-Enjoyment: I really enjoyed this poem. It was short, sweet, but covered everything well - without making the reader feel cut off/shrugged away. The last sentence jolted me. What? What was hwat? But it wa a good jolt, making me really dive in and have a good long look at this poem. Which it deserved, of course!
-Subject: the poem easy to understand on the surface but there was also an inner layer to it. I like how it could have been read on more than one level and that really does show how well you handle poems.
-Tone: The tone of this poem was appropriate. I liked how the last "and that was it" could have been seen with two tones. One is "and that was it, he couldn't remember any more", a more helpless, blank feel. Another, "that was it. No more." the kind of feeling when men brush their hands and walk off. that's that done, kinda. And I think the poem can be read both ways as well - both tones work for either story - as just finishing the drink or waking up from a hangover.
-Overall: Wonderful. Half due to the length, half due to my own befuddled brain ;) I have nothing much else to say.
| darkershadeofpale 6/2/11 . chapter 1
I love how there's a whole story in this, without you having to tell it. Way to get someone else to do your dirty work.
This made me smile though, because, well, the title says it all, really, and I can just imagine this poor guy waking up the next morning and not having a clue.
It's weird how well this flows. I'm going to now say that I'm a fan.
. darker shade of pale
| dragonflydreamer 5/31/11 . chapter 1
I love how "lips" almost rhymes with "it." I'm nor sure if that was intentional, but it gives the piece a great feeling of circularity.
Also, great contrast with "fire" and "drizzle." The fire/water opposition is great to convey the confusion, but it's subtle and doesn't come across as cliche.
| out-of-the-way 5/19/11 . chapter 1
Very simple yet so beautiful! :D
Keep writing awesomely!
| A. Gray 3/30/11 . chapter 1
I like how you leave us hanging. It short and to the point but still makes you wonder. Was it poisoned? Was he that much of a lightweight? What did he do?
Very nice little piece, but I do wish there was a bit more.
| Sakina the Fallen Angel 3/28/11 . chapter 1
Excellent choice of words for such a short poem - the imagery you evoked in 'liquid fire' and 'drizzled' were both very apt observations!
| sophiesix 3/19/11 . chapter 1
Nice! short, sweet, to the point. its perfect coz its true, and has a nice sense of timing to it. good stuff!
| Negasi 3/8/11 . chapter 1
You know what I like about this? It's short and to the point and looks simple because of the shortness, but really this has layers and layers and depth to it because it leaves the reader thinking... and what happened next and going through a range of scenarios in your head.
I like this! Sorry I haven't reviewed any of your stuff lately, life's been hectic...:)