| Reviews for Komae Grade School |
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Baseball Rockz 4/1/11 . chapter 7Bodyguard, nice one |
Baseball Rockz 4/1/11 . chapter 6Yea, nice cliffhanger, -_-! |
Baseball Rockz 4/1/11 . chapter 5Yea, you should make the next chapters longer |
Baseball Rockz 4/1/11 . chapter 4Haha! Haru's dead, so his Mother is dead, how sad |
Baseball Rockz 4/1/11 . chapter 3Is his Mother going to die? Hey, I can be your beta reader |
Baseball Rockz 4/1/11 . chapter 2What a creepy Father he has |
Baseball Rockz 4/1/11 . chapter 1Great Story, although you could be more descriptive |
Horch 3/29/11 . chapter 6Of course it's long enough, Nyka. And WHY on Earth do first graders know about Arthur MacArthur? That's completely illogical. We were only taught about Arthur MacArthur (Along with Generals Elwell Otis and Wesley Merritt)in fifth grade. With All Due Respect, The True Mockingjay (Formerly known as TheGreatUnknown.) |
Horch 3/24/11 . chapter 4I like how you're always talking about rears. But I hate how you made Haru's mom die. Why did you have to do that? Haru's mom was the only non-abusive person to Haru, and you had to take her out too? Why didn't you take out Haru's dad? -EE- |
So 3/24/11 . chapter 3 In this chapter, near the ending, the "breathe" should be "breath". But aside that, great story! |
Horch 3/19/11 . chapter 2 Pebb, the words, the words! I mean, you've certainly improved your spelling since I last read your work, but the idea. It's wrong-how can a seven-year-old know bad words like damn and bastard? That sort of thing just seems wrong. I didn't know words like that when I was seven. -Horch- |
TheSyrupNugget 3/17/11 . chapter 1Well written, but the speech seems a tad unrealistic coming from a seven year old, particularly one with a strict, abusive father. |