maybe a bit to short, this is kind of a describtion, mabe ad onto this for chapter one? This definintly sounds like a story for me, let me know when you ad on more, the sentence "There is place in the world where there is in this universe where a battle takes place." doesn't flow very well mabe try "There is a place in the world, in this universe, where a battle takes place."

HEY!

Can you believe it! After sooooo long i finally signed in!

Anyho, thanks for the message - it reassured me you hadn't forgotten your lonely friend D but it also made me see this!

Awesome start _

ever need someone to rant about it too you know who you can talk too

really looking forward to the rest _

Anyway, got to go.

talk you soon inshallah

nexuswarrior

A very interesting start wheres the rest of it i IT!

Sounds like the beginning of a great story! You should definitely write some more.

Very interesting, this sounds like it would be a great story to read. You should continue.

Keep writing! :)

This sounds really interesting! Are you going to make a story of it? Because you should. ;)

This is a wonderful start, great writing!

-Katie