|Reviews for The Fox Kennedy Files|
| Sophie Ulquiorra Allen 5/27/11 . chapter 8
I hope you don't mind a bit of con. crit:
-I found that there were a lot of spelling errors that could easily be fixed. Some, like "awefully" and "immatur" were especially glaring examples. These are easy enough to fix once you run it through Word.
-You can cut out a lot of your prose to make it more succinct. For example, when Fox says "that's why they put me here, so I couldn't hurt anybody else. Because they wanted me out of their way. That's all it was, really, I was just in the way of their perfect, plastic little suburbia", you could easily change it to: "they thought I didn't belong in their perfect, plastic little suburbia", or something similar. Also, when you have Fox refer to his captors as the lowest form of life, it gets repetitive. I think that it would be enough to have it stated once. See what you can edit out for clarity's sake.
-Furthermore, it seems that it would be ridiculous to have a convicted murderer in another person's presence (here, with the doctor) without handcuffs or any other security.
-Would a serial killer really call themselves "evil"? I'm not sure, because from my understanding they usually think of themselves as morally superior to everyone else.
You're tackling a very interesting topic and your work has potential. I liked the chapter on Fox's thoughts on his "addiction" especially.
Have you done any research on serial killers? Take a look at some biographies of Dahmer, Bundy, Gacy, and others.
| Fakety Mcfakename 4/22/11 . chapter 2
whoa, fox reminds me of blue. but less psycho. great action sequeence.
| Fakety Mcfakename 4/22/11 . chapter 1
this is a nice character. in the words of scott adams, he's "Big, and round". sounds like a fun story.