|Reviews for Sky Demons: Rocking Our Wanted Posters|
| x.Scream.On.The.Rooftops.x 8/31/11 . chapter 1
WOW! and wow. and wow again. Just read chapter 1, and I already love it! Keep writing it! Very well written!
*subscribes and adds to favourites*
| Emmaa x 8/24/11 . chapter 1
hey, so i finally got to reading some of your other stories :D
i like this so far :) i can see the resemblence to maximum ride, but its different enough and also like max's story, easy to read...
yeah, so so far i'm only on chapter 1, but i'll get through it! its great so far, especially your descriptions :) i've always been kinda bad at those :/
| Bibleeoh 8/4/11 . chapter 3
Another stinging critique...
Okay. How much blood does an angel have? An average adult male has around five liters and can only lose around two liters and still live. It seems odd to lose seven liters, plus whatever she lost from the cut on her waist, and not get woozy...
The description you used for her wings coming out is confusing. Daggers? Sets the body on fire? Large wings wouldn't be able to fit under the shoulder blades, theres no room, those bones are connected to other bones, ligaments, and muscles. The angel skeleton would have to be vastly different for that to work. Fitting their wings under the skin would be difficult unless some sort of magic or what-have-you was employed.
One last thing. Why would the process hurt so bad? Wouldn't nerves in the area turn off or eventually be destroyed in the repeated removal of wings? Such a thin layer of cells and tissue wouldn't have too many nerve endings, especially since they had to grow back so often. They'd be like scabs or scars.
| Bibleeoh 8/4/11 . chapter 2
Just to let you know, this will be an intense critique. Ready?
Okay, first things first. The story sounds like you're rambling. You just go from one thing to the next without really working things out.
I like how the main character makes comments, comments like that are usually interesting and give people insight on the character's personality and what they are thinking, but you using it too much and her comments are oddly random. You are using her monologue to tell the entire story and you are relying on it way too much. I also think you are jumping ahead some with the way you are describing some things, like her personality and all. You could let her actions show that instead in later chapters.
You aren't describing what's happening or the surroundings near as much as you are typing up what the character thinks. If you went there and had to describe it to someone outside the door trying to draw it what would you say? Where are the cages? How are they lined up? Are they stacked on top of each other? Is every cage the same size? Also remember to include what you would notice with your other senses. Does the basement leak? Can she hear the dripping water if it does? Do others in their cages groan, moan, whine, cry, or shuffle trying to get comfortable? How much of that can she hear? Does the basement stink? How much light is there?
What is the character doing? Is she rocking on her heels? Sitting? Slumped against those stubborn bars? Without decribing things we don't know what's happening. For example you didn't decribe much about the cut on her waist. Besides it hurting was it deep? Long? On her side or belly?
One other thing, "I could have used my powers if the bars had been living, breathing inanimate objects which they weren't because if they were they'd have a heart and would have let me out by now!" If you read that sentence you used 'inanimate incorrectly. The bars ARE inanimate, as they are lifeless.
I did like some parts of the monologue though. Especially the last sentence of the chapter. "And those scientists say I'm the lesser being in the equation. Take that science!"
| bloodpiratette 8/2/11 . chapter 89
YOU HAVE TWO CHAPTER EIGHTY-EIGHTS AND STUFF! SAME DRILL AS LAST TIME YOU GOT A REVIEW LIKE THIS PLEASE! YOU GET THE MESSAGE RIGHT
| bloodpiratette 8/2/11 . chapter 87
that's your car! awesome!
| Riaweb 8/1/11 . chapter 1
Wow this is amazing! you have some talent! keep writing :)
| Kyle 7/31/11 . chapter 20
Please don't view my questions as coming off like a troll as I am honestly asking these questions.
I am still curious as to what kind of room these cages are in that Robyn and Ace are in?
How many escape routes does this room have once they find everybody? Is there any windows?
Is the room dark or is it well lighted.
I am going to assume you got rushed into the story being over-excited as you are DARN GOOD with people personality and verbs but a *bit* lacking in room descriptions.
| Kyle 7/31/11 . chapter 2
The only problem I see here is there is no description of the room as something to help build our imagination on.
I mean is the room a big room like an ER or is it as small as a janitors closet with a tiny cage in it?
Is there scientific instruments on tables around the outside of the cage which could also be used as stabbing weapons when the angel girl gets out?
| bloodpiratette 7/30/11 . chapter 75
YOU HAVE TWO CHAPTER SEVENTY-FOURS! i REPEAT YOU HAVE TWO CHAPTER SEVENTY-FOURS AND NO CHAPTER SEVENTY-FIVE! PLEASE TAKE CARE OF IT BEFORE I ARRANGE A DATE BETWEEN YOUR FACE AND THE GROUND!
| Sophia Alexandra 6/28/11 . chapter 5
wow intense. good story
| Sophia Alexandra 6/28/11 . chapter 4
oooh interesting. going to next chapter now
| Sophia Alexandra 6/27/11 . chapter 3
oh good she got out! great story so far
| Sophia Alexandra 6/27/11 . chapter 2
really good. i really like this a lot
| Sophia Alexandra 6/27/11 . chapter 1
wow this was really really good! i loved it! saw your request to read this when you reviewed and im glad i did! im liking it so far!