this is really good so far! The characters are really interesting and you're developing them really well :) update soon!

ostrich :) xx

I've got news for you - I'm back! And I'll look at your story immediately. Let's see if there are things that can be better!

I like how Leo and Tillie are pretty close, and how they are good friends - though it seems it's not going to be like that forever. I presume they're going to get together in the future?

You could've fleshed Tillie's time at Leo's out a little, but I think that apart from that, this chapter was good and definitely above your average. You're getting better and better!

A few mistakes:

'I quickly plopped myself down before he changed his mined.' changed his MIND

'too, its quit funny ' QUITE funny

'Had he really just implied that Leo and I were together.' It's a question, so it should end with a questionmark

'cheeks and my bellyaching' belly aching, two words

Hope this was helpful!

the only thing i sort of disliked about this chapter was the length! why so short?

hm...i sense some romance between tillie and dillion ;D

anyway, update soon?

hm...great prologue! this seems like an interesting story and i will definitely continue reading! one thing that i noticed that you had a lot of short choppy sentences.

but other than that, great first chapter! im hooked on this story!

Interesting, cant wait to see how this goes. I have some ideas as to what to expect but not going to say anything and just read how this plays out. Looking forward to more.

Nice story :D I like it

I really like this! Please write more! And especially since Easter has just come around, I'm into reading Easter themed stories :D

i like how this starts with the intro about the grandma- it looks like you have some really good character development. keep writing!