you're a fine writer. with this piece i

might say a reporter, because you've

declined to imbue either character with

human emotion. this happened, this

happened, this happened, reach your own

conclusions, dear reader. i don't always

object to that. in this case these two

might as well be plastic dolls or mannequins,

though. a reader must feel a character as

a human being with a pulse and breath and

body warmth, in novel or in poem. if you can

do that, your work will become quite dazzling,

i think.