|Reviews for The Greatest Gift|
| 3M2R 5/8/11 . chapter 1
This reminded me of a drama i once watched. Similar to that that you've written, just the ending was different. It wasn't a forgiving session, but a man kilk man and more death tolls story... That reminds me of death note okay, i shouldn't digress so much.
What i've here, isn't just a review to you, but also something forcthe person named 'guy'.
For you, i've to say that this story could have been better. I see so much potential in how it could have been a better read. The descriptions are okay, but pales in comparison to many writers here because of age and well... We just don't have that good a command of the english language as western countries do. (reason why we are part of Asia much?)
To person named 'guy', please reserve your comments if they are not constructive. What you've ranted about first personcl perspective wasn't at all constructive. By the way, it is WRONG to say that there is limited coverage of issues, because some do have depth and other perspectives because the character ponders about other possibilities. Besides, an ominicent view can become a,boring 'tell' story instead of a heartfelt 'show' story. First person perspective draws you into the story because you become THE character.
| KatKatrina 5/7/11 . chapter 1
i really liked the story. it made me feel sad and happy at the same time. but it is a little far fetched. i doubt someone today would forgive someone who did that so easily. maybe you could use more descriptive words? other than that, i think you did a good job :)
| Guy 5/7/11 . chapter 1
Well, I won't lie. I've no idea what book you read that inspired you to create this, but this text on its own is no more than 'decent' or 'average' and that's being rather generous. From what I can make out, it's full of angst and depression.
I noticed a few mistakes here and there such as the use of 'Brother' and 'Sister'. Normally, you don't use it like you have('Dad, Mum, Brother, Sister'). I suppose it's still correct because your point gets across, but if you refer to names then the emotion will go across more.
I hate first person. I absolutely loathe it and the person came up with the entire idea of writing a story using 'I' for anything other than a retelling. The detail is limited(not just in first person, in this entire story) and where there is detail, it's generally low quality.
I opened this story expecting it to be a rather enlightening tale about somebody saving somebody else's life. I did get that, I suppose, but I didn't get it to the quality I would have liked.
You have potential if you drop your angst and learn to write true genres.