Your chapter names are extremely inventive.
I got a little tiny bit confused with the second chapter/part. But over all, it was a lovely story (in a not-so-lovely sense).
I like your wriiting style. Just wanted to throw that out there.
Anyway, I really enjoyed reading this story.

EEK! Creepy story... But I totally identify with the urge to kill people who piss me off. This story reminds me of a story I'd written for theatre class, about another killer. I should upload it soon...
Keep up the good work and don't worry about your stories being too long-I don't think they have a limit here.

This was great! Are you going to write more?

This kind of reminds me of a bullying situation I was in. I never exploded, but I got pretty damn near.
Very good job capturing the emotions of the girl.
Props to you.
thecheshirewold

Did Zannah kill the girl too? Or did she just wish she did?

Alright, no parentheses, but the capitalizing of a whole word... Yeah, just don't do that. If you want to bring more attention to that word you can either capitalize it, italicize it, or both. Capitalizing a whole word just brings people out of the story, at least for me it does. Again, combine your sentences. This doesn't really seem like a horror story. I say good idea, but the execution could have been a little better.

Sorry if I seem over critical. Just trying to help with your writing. You seem like you have great ideas.

Oh, those parentheses! Hopefully, I won't see those in the next chapter. Some of this is a bit choppy, couple words are there when they shouldn't be, and you're missing one or two words. Interesting idea. Kind of reminds me of The Omen. Again, more detail. Detail adds life to a story. Also, this is really short. Not a bad chapter.

I was wondering... Would you like a BETA? I wouldn't mind helping.

Alright let's see. So far, I don't know if you've corrected it in future chapters, but instead of doing parentheses use either a comma or start a new sentence. I think it flows a little better, you missed a couple commas, which isn't really big. Try to put the sentences together more so the paragraphs are longer. Also, and this is the last thing, try to put a little more emotion into the story. Again, I don't know if you fixed this stuff later on, but overall... Good idea and I'd like to see where this goes.

Please update soon!

I love this, The anger, the sadness, the twisted beauty if this story.

She makes perfect sense, but none at all.

Somehow I find myself in the girls position, wanting to rid the world of ugly.

I simply love it.

Please update soon?

Update?

Funny. This story reminds me of...me. I enjoyed reading this. Good job.

Ooooh this sounds really kewl! I totally want to read chapter two to this awesome story

Very good job with this...especially building up the suspense and intrigue! Definitely looking forward to seeing where you are going to go with this!

Wow.

I really enjoyed that one. Clear and sharp, very much alive!

Well done!