I liked the first paragraph. Or stanza. It was very descriptive. Also liked the words used. Good job.

N

Maturity in tone and self-advice. Well done!

Just, wow! The concept is amazing and whilst reading this outloud, I got a sense of rhythm as if my was tapping to a beat. I find that this would work well with more use of enjambment, especially in the third stanza starting from "... would anybody share... wrapping their fleece around my shoulders for comfort?"

And hun, don't ever give up. You'll get there some day, and you will the find the one ;)

Keep on writing and I look forward to be reading more of your works soon.

You always surprise me with whatever you post because its so detailed and expressive in a way only a handful of people can do. This is one with a deceiving title for those with less creativity. :) I thought it was going to be about brightening someones day. Awesome work. Better than a choka in my opinion!

I loved every bit of this! Very well done. Keep it Up!

I found this quite an emotional poem that was quite pensive, and that there was always this constant struggle expressed by the voice of the piece to get things right, because a certain occurence made everything seem so wrong. (Is this right?)

The first three stanzas are so heart-wrenching and when I got to that final stanza, it was so enlightening. It was quite a contrast and I found it was quite lovely; that you did find a way to right the wrongs.

One of the lines that I found really captured this despair was "would anybody share an undone stitch of light from their heart" such an amazing and well written line.

The only thing that bothered me a little was the length of the sentences. I felt they were stretched out a little too much and there were so many ideas captured within the one sentence, yet it works.

This is a really inspiring piece for me and I wholly enjoyed reading it. Bravo.

I find this a stark baring of the soul in flowing blank verse with many striking phrases. I especially like the title. If it is original, I congratulate your creativity. If it is a quote, you have good taste in borrowing other people's words.