Lol don't worry I'm not a person to complain about punctuation, though it does help pace your writing a bit. But it wasn't too bad as you said, I could read it and understand well.

But lets get to the good part, so I'm not entirely sure what a one shot is but this story didn't seem to have much of a closing. I found myself wanting to read more but then being stopped due to lack of content. Your descriptions remind me a lot of how Stephen King would define his characters brief personality descriptions rather than a full bio of your character which I can't stand seeing on any story. So good job!

I do like your character though, she didn't feel like a giant cutout compared to some other characters I've read in other stories. The main thing I like about her is that she's seems independent and not so dependent on finding a guy. In most romance stories you read any character whether a boy or girl, seem to always be looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend. But this character is different, love is finding her which was what got me interested.

Before in your author's note you asked, "if you would like this to become more than a one shot please let me know." Well I want to see this keep going so you should update, if you choose not to though that's too, but I'll be disappointed lol.

Adam

I would LOVE if you made this a mult-chapter story, even though you wrote it a few months ago...

the emotions were so clear and the description nothing short of AMAZING! you have talent!

This is really good, it's very attention getting for not being very long. I think it's good enough to continue on as a full story if you wanted to write it as one. Thanks for reviewing my story as well. Bade is a cool name too! Hope you think about continuing this.

Good one-shot, pretty well written, although it doesn't really feel like a one-shot and more like a prologue: a good one-shot has a definitive ending, whereas this sounds more like a prologue because we have no idea how things will carry on with Bade.

Apart from that, you've done pretty well: your writing style is very visibly improving, as is your grammar and spelling. I'm impressed, actually, keep it up!

Four tiny little spelling mistakes I noticed, though:

'My i-pod was blasting ' I believe the correct spelling is iPod

'were piercing you heart ' were piercing youR heart

'It was to late ' It was too late

'I had I would have not allowed it.' I had, I wouldn't have...

' need some time to my self away from' need some time to myself

And I most certainly would like this to become a multichap, by the way :)

I like it so far. You should really keep going.

this story seems like it could be decent. you should continue it :)

also, im writing a story called soul mates, so if u hav time, could u rr?