Ooooooh intresting :)

I liked this story, it had a twist at the end that I didn't quite see coming. However, I did notice a few errors, and the story needs a bit of polishing. I also think that you could flesh out the story a bit more, add some descriptions, details, etc. I think it has potential, but you need to bring it to life a bit more.

...Awesome...Just Awesome it was short sweet and got to their death's quickly...You're awesome

Hahaha, that actually kind of brilliant.

Sure, there were some tiny spelling errors ("taunt skin" or "were monsters and demons lurked in the shadows") but the plot was good the main boy is relatable and the twist is awesome.

Wow. Talk about a good twist ending. I did not see that coming. Great job!