|Reviews for Reflections of a Soldiers Wife|
| Fabala 6/24/11 . chapter 5
oh no ryan! what happened to him! (my inner fangirl lives!)
This story is really good! I'm hooked! I do however have a few suggestions... *don't hate me and feel free to ignore!*
1. it seems like this was written for someone who knew more than is on the paper...maybe in your head it all makes sense, but to us readers a few things are not explained... especially back in chapter one...it just kinda jumps in like we should know who the characters are... (which i do, but it's cuz i soldiered through all of them :) i read the authors note about it being a mirror story of come back, but it's also a really good stand alone piece!
My suggestion is to write it like there's nothing else out there explaining everything.
2. when you change scenes add some kind of divider, when I'm reading it I sometimes have to go back and figure out where the scene changed, just an extra line with a few dashs (-) or something creative, ( xXx o0o -o0o- ) are a few I've seen.
This will help eliminate a lot of confusion and frustration that readers don't want to deal with. (readers are lazy lol, don't make us work or we'll move on to something easier)
So that's it :) I love what you have here, Steve and LeighAnn are such a cute couple! and baby Jack and Will make me awww out loud at my computer (seriously, people stare... lol)
Gonna g read come back now and see what I missed with Mel and Ryan :)
| Koki Enwai 6/18/11 . chapter 1
You're off to a good start, but some commas would be nice. They're definitely needed here; don't be afraid to sprinkle some in.