|Reviews for The Stranger|
| nathalie.butterfly 6/22/11 . chapter 1
of freakin' course! xD
i loved this. it was cute. you really get a good insight into the mind of a girl near a cute boy. it's so true, too. xD
i like this a lot. good job, dear. :3
| freedman121 6/22/11 . chapter 1
Your idea of creating scenarios that lead to a couple's first kiss that outlined in your profile is an interesting one. Those situations can build for weeks or even years, or as you have shown in this story, they can happen in almost an instant. I like the idea behind the story very much, but I felt it was a little lacking in details. It was hard for me to feel connected to the story through this narrator: since the story is clearly plot driven, I think it might be more successful as a third-person narration.
Also, be careful when you are editing: small mistakes such as "I couldn't bare him reading my self-consciousness," (bare should be bear), can take away from the overall effect of a piece.