|Reviews for Temporary Goodbyes|
| non.graceful 7/7/11 . chapter 1
Personally I think this could have been written properly.
It was lacking the actual emotions that you described...
Maybe you should focus on expanding on characteristics and not rush things to the point? Bring out memories.. Show that it isn't/wasn't a short relationship and show the reasons why he doesnt want her to leave.
I know it's hard to develope a male character, but maybe you should work on it or swap the roles.. Make the guy leave and the girl stay- only because when I was reading it I felt as if he were the girl...
I might not have liked this entirely, but I hope the suggestions I've given you to improve this are .. Worth it? Have helped you somewhat?
Oh! Make sure you check your punctuation! You haven't place commas or full stops where they're needed!