|Reviews for Finding Hope|
| thescarletrose96 7/15/12 . chapter 12
hey boo mssed yoour writting almost thought you had given up. I like how you brought a new side to hope very nice to see. cant really review anything beacuse its pretty much perfect and short. hope to see more from you.
| Music Ninja 1/5/12 . chapter 10
Okay the website is being weird, but i read both chapters 10 and 11. they are good. Although, there is a HUGE gap in time between the two chapters! i realize that you put some details for the week that passed but i think there nedds too be a few more.
Thats really my only issuse. other than my personal dislike of Gabby. She is the kind of person i wouldn't like. (: great details in physical and emotional descriptions!
| Music Ninja 12/30/11 . chapter 12
no problem(: and one thing i forgot to mention is that when you are adressing a person (whether through dialouge or thought) you need a comma before their name. For example, "I don't usually hang around the third floor, Jonny." haha great job with the reading though! YAY editing!
| thescraletrose96 12/30/11 . chapter 11
hello hun just finished reading,very intresting (third person)i can assure you that after reading this i understand why the characters are acting the way they back to your writing style,althought very informative i found the writing very direct,i like to think the stories on fiction press were books and if this were a book i would question the change althought it has been done i would like to explain how it could have been done better."Yeah, sure!""So where to, boys?" I asked looking at Luke's could have had it from hopes point of veiw example a flash back e.g "we were walking and as usual gabby was fliting with all the boys,thinking about it she has always been the centre of attension..." somthing along those lines would have fit perfectly,now i hope your not offended as i just think a small improvement could have made a bigger a fantastic writter and your doing very well.
note:thanks for the dedication so very appreciated.
thanks with lots of love thescarletrose96
| Music Ninja 12/30/11 . chapter 11
Okay i read the last one and i think that all this information should be mixed in with the thoughts of the characters. You shouldnt REALLY have to do this. it doesnt have anything AT ALL to do with were you left off in the story. in my opinion you should just continue the story and some how fit these details into it!
| Music Ninja 12/30/11 . chapter 5
Ha im reviewing again. I really like the relationship between jonny and Hope. its REALLY cute and realistic
| Music Ninja 12/30/11 . chapter 1
That story is interesting. Your writing tecniques are very advanced(: but, if i were to comment on this STORY...righting about people who help their friends get weed and are eventually going to get caught is NOT my thing. But your writing, detail, foreshadowing and backround info is very well-written.
In other-wards, i would appreciate it greatly if you could read my story First Light! I need to know if i am improving or not. Thank you so much!
| thescarletrose96 12/13/11 . chapter 1
Hello I love your analysis of the characters and the bond you have created between them and the reader very interesting storyline. However the spelling and grammar could be improved, also it is very important that in a story you don't just pick and pull characters if you’re going to add them a background is important, not very detailed but something that at least gives us a reason to understand their behaviour a clear example of this would be " I'm just gonna burrow one of your dresses from before you started starving yourself" why would her best friend say something so hurtful is there a reason? I would also like to see Hope and Jonny develop more example how their love has impacted them, and most of all what they think of each other. I would like to see physical development as well as emotional example hope has gained a few pounds as for mental development the characters should slowly begin to mature and I know with such a plot it is hard but it has to happen so rather than referring to teen books make the experience of love make them reach a higher level of thinking and explain who this makes them stronger. Right now that is all I will continue to read and comment but overall beautiful and I wish you the best.
| trueescape 11/21/11 . chapter 10
i'm enjoying your story i hope you will continue
| Clarissa Rose 8/3/11 . chapter 8
Awww I love Jonathan:D Please update... Like now.
| Clarissa Rose 7/9/11 . chapter 5
I love this! it's absolutely adorible:) Update soon!