| Reviews for Operative 060 |
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Boy at War 7/10/11 . chapter 2This will be good the ending was intriguing, I think it was far from what I was suspecting. I hadn't thought you would allow for Mark to get captured so early on in the story. I think next chapter or whenever you have an interrogation would be a good time to reveal some things about the setting and characters in this story. I still don't like the mechanics of Mark breaking into the reactor room and a small army of guards firing on him. It doesn't seem realistic that they would all have their guns trained on the door, ready for him if no one had known. I think that if the guards were because someone ratted him out or something like that, then Mark should address it. A bit of surprise to walk into a room and get a hail of gunfire would be an understatement after an operative just killed two guys to make sure that he WASN'T noticed. |
Boy at War 7/10/11 . chapter 1I felt that at the ending it seemed far from subtle for Mark to barge into the next room the way he did. I would think that the loud noise might make one panicky guard trip the alarm, or at least I would. I remember reading an article on ballistics once, from what I could get out of it suppressors don't make that soft little pift sound. Because of that I think your description of a muffled bark was a lot more accurate. I think the opening was good for the story and that when this mission ends that this story will have lots of slpaining to do about what's going on. I review for the Review Marathon! If you'd like to check it AND the Review Game out then just go on over to my profile and check it out. |