|Reviews for The Secret of St Jeanne|
| Kavetroll007sh 11/29/12 . chapter 5
This was good. Can't wait to read some more, if you decide to update
| Lord Slayer 8/14/12 . chapter 5
Has it really been a whole year since the last update to this? Huh.
I kind of hope that either Hachiya or Tsurugi (or both) won't be comfortable right away with having to share Akiko. This is going to make for a very complicated relationship, and finding two people who are okay with sharing a partner would seem unrealistic. As it is, Hachiya seemed rather fine with having sex with her underage student. I don't know, maybe she's just kinky, but it wouldn't hurt to bring it up in the next one.
I'm also curious at point Akiko's storyline is going to converge with the Night School and Muscle Cuties storylines.
I'd really like to see more Jeanne.
| earthserpent 8/14/12 . chapter 5
WOOOOOOOOOO! yeah i love it so awesome! :) hope you update soon.
| CrazyNinjaPenguin 8/14/12 . chapter 5
Oh, wow... That was pretty nice. I had forgotten about how much i like this story; it's been so long.
The scene at the end there was really pretty sexy. Good stuff. That scene alone makes me want more of this.
The rest was great too. Frantilly is always a lot of fun, even when she's just explaining things.
| Rahkshi500 8/14/12 . chapter 5
I'm glad to see you continuing this after so long. I really liked this story and didn't want to see it discontinued. As for the story, I really liked it as you said I would, but there are noticeable spelling errors. You captured the feeling of Tsurugi feeling confused and distraught over being an Anmyutsu well. Something like that can happen when there's no guide like Night around to help soften the blow. The part with Midori's expanding breasts was the best, and you even accepted my request during it. The sex between her and Akiko was very cute too. If the next chapter is the last part, then I'm anxious to see how this will end, and will hopefully help me with the sequel.
| NsShadowSerpent 4/13/12 . chapter 1
Interesting character profile list. I've often thought of doing something like this for the beginning of my stories if I ever get around to them. Mind if I use this format? Hehe.
| earthserpent 10/26/11 . chapter 4
| Lord Slayer 10/18/11 . chapter 4
Wow, you finally did a hetero scene. Good work.
I would like to see more of Jeanne trying coming to terms with the modern day. I've always loved the awkwardness that comes with being displaced in time and there wasn't really as much as there should or could have been. The thing with the tv was fine- "Pictures shouldn't move!" lolz- but when they went outside it wasn't nearly as good. True, you didn't really have time to get into much detail about it since you were trying to make a quick transition to Yagokoro, so maybe you could have done without that bit at all, or maybe instead say that Akiko noticed Jeanne's reaction.
My only other complaint is that Akiko seemed to jump into bed too fast with a guy that she watched eating people. If I found myself playing host to a cannibal girl, I'd be a bit more wary of her for a while, no matter how hot she was. But maybe I'm just weird. :p
One other thing: "I didn't know what Toyoe had planned for her, but I hoped she would learn some contemporary values in the mean time."
Would you think it wrong of me to read "learn some contemporary values," as "corrupt her"? lolz
Keep up the good work.
| Lord Slayer 10/18/11 . chapter 3
I like the way you portray Jeanne. Very macho and yet very spiritual. She'll make for an interesting houseguest.
Hmm, Housenka makes me think of Washu from the Tenchi Muyo franchise for some reason. They're slight similiarities only, but I find the fact that they're there to be rather funny.
| CrazyNinjaPenguin 10/17/11 . chapter 4
A nice chapter. I particularly loved the opening bit with Frantilly, and Jeanne is really starting to be fun too.
I thought the sex scene was well done, and fairly detailed and fun. I'm not sure I'm connected to Yagokoro much as a character yet, so that held it back just a little for me.
I look forward to more.
| Rahkshi500 10/17/11 . chapter 4
Thank you for getting the new chapter out pretty quickly. All the characters have gathered up pretty fast in Akiko's house I might say. At first I thought it was gonna be a while before they're all gathered together. It was fun learning a bit more about Frantilly and the Gari. And I also thank you for the sex scene at the end between Akiko and Tsurugi. I kind of wished the sex had gone on just a little longer, but that's not a fault, just me wanting more. Sorry that you found it rather difficult to do, and I feel partially responsible for it. Hope things go well better in the future.
| CrazyNinjaPenguin 10/9/11 . chapter 3
Wow, that was really pretty awesome!
The action scene at the beginning was cool. Loved seeing Jeanne get her chance to show off. She seems really cool.
But yeah, it's great to see these characters again. This was a lot of fun. Definitely looking forward to the next chapter now.
| earthserpent 10/9/11 . chapter 3
| Lord Slayer 8/20/11 . chapter 2
Witch-girl Akiko, Anu'uto, two sex scenes, bizarre religious(?) rituals, and Joan of Arc as a chevalier. Quite a busy chapter.
I'm...not going to say anything about Toyoe, but everyone else seemed pretty good. Tsurugi's rather intriguing. I wonder, is it possible for Anu'uto to start out as humans and then somehow be transformed, does he have amnesia or in some other way not realize what he is, or is he lying? Very interesting. Also, where he seems to flee at the sight of Sister Toyoe- and Akiko's hypothesis for it- were pretty funny.
It's a bit awkward, reading a first person story with so much of your stuff being in third person, but you did a pretty good job. I would, however, try and minimalize things in parenthesis as much as possible, even though it is Akiko's thoughts. See if you can't come up with another way to insert that bit of information first.
Mistakes I found:
“Getting off not too long later,”
- Kind of weird sounding. Try “Getting off a short time later,” or “It wasn’t long until I got off,” or something else akin to that.
“It was a gray, dizzily day, like it usually is in this town during winter.”
- “Drizzly,” not “dizzily.”
“He wore a long-sleeved gray T-shit, blue shin-length shorts, and trainers, all of which looked worn and kind of dirty.”
- Is it a long sleeved shirt or a t-shirt?
It was easy see the appeal in that.
- “easy to see.”
A thin, short girl chose that moment to walk in, her hair wild and tied teal.
- I think you mean “dyed teal.”
| H. Earthserpent 7/17/11 . chapter 2
that was so awesome. i want more chapters soon.