|Reviews for Rule 11|
| semantics 2/10/13 . chapter 16
Very well done! The characters have an amazing depth, but what I really enjoy is this whole other world you've created. Especially to craft another language... not just a couple of words here and there, but entire sentences. You did a very good job.
| Honunjama 11/17/12 . chapter 35
This was a great exciting read. The rules kept me wanting to read more and more and I didn't want it to end:P I love the detail you put into this with the language too. Phoenix is completely my favorite XD
| the old contemptible 8/29/12 . chapter 8
Not bad so far. I thank Hashem you put an explanation for the random-ass psychic kid in, 'cause if there hadn't been one, I would have stopped reading right there.
An interesting tale, and I love the fact that you've created a language. I absolutely love plausible-sounding made-up stuff (the drawings of Bruce McCall come to mind, or Herge's famous Syldavia and Borduria) and, as a matter of fact, am currently engaged in creating my own tiny Eastern European nation, soon to be a blog called The Redonia Project. So good on you for that.
Anyhow, an interesting spin on vampire tales, and thank G-d for that. I was getting fed up of the standard wish-fulfillment "gains magical powers" vampire story.
I'll certainly read to the end of this 'un.
| HelloBilby 6/9/12 . chapter 35
I love this story, it's brilliant.
this whole world is AMAZING.
I really love Phoenix. He's probably my favourite character.
Is it weird that I really like Kiyoshi? I don't know why, he just sounds really cool. XD
I've been wanting to review this story all the way through reading it, but for some reason my computer was being crappy and not letting my hit the review button. It's working now so.. I really trov this story. I love languages and learning bits from other languages. I think it's amazing that you've created a language for this story! I've always wanted to create a language, but I seriously have no idea where to start.
I'm going to go read Abomination now.
| creativesmarts 5/21/12 . chapter 40
I loved this story so much! It was sweet, and it actually reminds me of a story I'm writing, not on FP yet, but it has similar content. Anyway, love Rule 0. I hope they don't break it:)
Also, I don't know why, but since that very first scene with him in it, I have loved Phoenix so much; he's my favorite character:)
| LittleMonster13 5/21/12 . chapter 35
Why have I never read this story until now? I LOVED it! Of course the love story was just heartwrenching, but the depth with which you wrote about the Hokshi and Zentqrin politics and language was astounding! This needs to be seriously published. I'm not kidding. If you ever do decide to publish anything message me! I'll totally buy! Much love now! 3 :D
| IREADTHISANDILIKEDIT 5/2/12 . chapter 40
I really enjoyed reading this story
| RaeAnnLove 4/16/12 . chapter 40
Trovlent! This is another beautiful story and I'm so impressed by the language you constructed! It's extraordinary and wow I just absolutely adore it. This story is definately one of my favorites and I would have taken the time to learn Your language and write this, but that is a task for another day! I just wanted to say this was outstanding!
| SJR 4/12/12 . chapter 35
... so I read the whole thing. In one day. When I was supposed to be studying for my degree. I guess this should probably tell you how much I enjoyed it XD It was just one of those stories that hooked me right from the first chapter and I just couldn't stop. So I thought I'd send you a review, even though the story's finished and there's not really altogether too much point, other than me thanking you for your epic characters - they were what really made it.
And I also wanted to say how much I loved the different languages. Usually that kind of thing frustrates me or, in FP, comes across as quite immature. But not at all here! I could tell you actually put some genuine thought into it and I found it all really interesting. I think it was the way you dealt with the translations - incorporating them easily into the flow of the narration so that they just seemed natural.
About halfway through, I remembered Simon Curtis' song 'flesh' and pretty much played it on repeat the rest of the way through. If that song doesn't describe this story, I don't know what does XD
But, yeah, I've rambled on long enough as it is, esp as I haven't included CC as the story's finished lol. So thank you again for a great story and I'll probably return to another one at a later date (a date after my exams, if I'm clever) You really have a fantastic writing style that makes everything so easy to read :) xxx
| Light.Is.Me 2/22/12 . chapter 35
I realise that I should have reviewed this yesterday when I finished this, but you know better late than never!
I love this story! And I am so happy to be starting the sequel! Yay! I'm happy now!
| DawnSister 2/21/12 . chapter 1
Just started reading this, and I'm intrigued. A good start. I will read more, but I am a bit busy with my own so will dip into it when I need distracting. Your stories are always distracting though, so I might end up reading the whole lot in one go.
| Draycono 2/18/12 . chapter 1
Hi, I just wanted to say that I love this story sooo much! I read it a few months ago and then a few days ago I decided to read it again but I couldn't remember the name of this story for the life of me! I've spent the last few days searching all over fictionpress for this story and I was about to give up a few minutes ago when I found it and (embarrassingy enough) i almost cried! which is kind of pathetic because this is just a story but its like, the BEST story i've ever read! Thank you for writing such an amazing story!
| noire-lycanthrope 2/12/12 . chapter 40
I usually don't do reviews for here or , but I felt as though I had to for this story! I sat and read through it in (near enough) one go, and very much enjoyed it. I liked the way you titled each chapter and related them to the Hokshi Laws - I kept trying to guess some of the other laws before I started each new chapter, haha!
All in all, I found 'Rule 11' very interesting for a vampire-esque romance story - mostly because of all the effort you put into creating an entirely new culture and language as a back-story. The whole Hokshi/Zentqrin/Kaern/Phasti mythology was intriguing and definitely added another layer to the main plot of the romance between Kasey and Taylor. I also love learning about languages in my free time so I can really appreciate the amount of effort you went through in creating your own. :)
However, I feel as though the 'darker' side of Kasey could have been developed a little more. Like, in chapter 2 where Kasey murders Vanessa and then eats her, there could have been more gore in that scene and maybe a little self-loathing on Kasey's part simply for the fact that he had to kill someone before he could try and sleep with his boyfriend. Or, maybe there could have been a scene where Taylor asked Kasey about his first victim - after he found out the Hokshi were real - and he could've described how he felt about killing them and whether he felt any different now. Or there could even have been a scene where Kasey struggles to deal with his cravings for human flesh or something. (I just wanted to experience more of the gory/horror side of the plot.)
Also, I found the way Kasey was pretty much allowed to bring Taylor to The Village with very little arguing on his part - and the way Taylor didn't find it overly weird that the Hokshi lived in caves - to be pretty strange. More tension between Kasey and the other members of his Village - other than his Sudra - would have been good and perhaps shown their disapproval of his breaking of the Hokshi Laws more.
Anyway, I still really enjoyed your story and can't wait to see what you'll come up with in the future. :) I'll probably start reading 'Abomination' this week as well, as Phoenix was one of my favourite characters in 'Rule 11'.
| NatalieWilde 1/22/12 . chapter 40
You are one of my favorite authors on fp! I just finished your wonderful story and I have to admit to tears rolling down my cheek at one point. You create characters with real depth to them - both vulnerable yet strong, etc... I think that is why readers love your stories.
I first found your stories while searching for some boyXboy stories, so forgive me if I say although I appreciate the sex scenes you have in the story, I'd really like to see a bit more "action" in stories that are rated M (mature).
Thanks for all your hard work.
| A.J. Saunders 12/27/11 . chapter 35
I really enjoyed reading this, despite my usual dislike for supernatural romances. It wasn't your usual vampire story, which I'm glad for. Also, you obviously have a deep passion for writing. Not only does it show in your writing, but also in your update speed and, you know, the fact that YOU CREATED A LANGUAGE! xD That passion for writing is really important.
I do have a few things I didn't like too much though. The first thing is that I wished the story started a bit earlier, plot wise. It just kind of comes in when Taylor and Kasey are already in love with each other. I wish it'd shown them actually falling in love. Which also relates to my next point, I wish there was more about why Taylor was willing to stay with Kasey when he learnt about the murderer thing. Or I wish that part could have could have also been done in Taylor's point of view, so we got to see what he was thinking, like internal conflict or something. Which also relates to the last point, since you don't show them falling in love we just have to take it as a given that Taylor's fine with it. I don't know... I just found it weird. I wish there was more in the story about that.
And finally, the sex scenes were pretty terrible. It's to be expected from a straight female, though, especially one who doesn't have experience writing them. The only way you'll get better at that is through practice.
I know it seems like I complained about a lot, but trust me, I really enjoyed the story. In fact, I read this story pretty much non-stop when I found it. Your passion for writing is an inspiration, so now excuse me while I go read your other stories. :)