|Reviews for Eldin Revenant|
| 1819 4/29/12 . chapter 1
Overall I liked it. I think that the amount of description used was very good and vivid. I really enjoy good description.
However one think I disliked (wouldn't say disliked,more like didn't care for) was the way the dialouge was written. Just my preference, I found it to be too stiff, but this could just be my opinion.
Keep up the good work
| Ezekiel Finch 10/21/11 . chapter 1
Hello from the RG!
I really liked some of your imagery. The time and weathering of the castle really shows a certain age and weathering. It comes off as ruined, ancient, and broken. It perfectly matches the tone of the piece and the mood you were going for.
The one thing I did not enjoy was how you revealed that they were ghosts. In the middle section, you really hinted at this supernatural force at play and instead let us observe and figure it out on our own. But then when Gereon meets Tristeia, he basically says, "We're ghosts now." I think what really puts this scene off for me is how candid Gereon is about death and how easily Tristeia can shrug off the realization that she is a ghost. If someone came up to me and said, "You're dead and your entire existence up to this point is meaningless," then I'd like to say why that person is wrong. If we saw her say that she's been "alive," interacting with the villagers, and doing things only living people can do, then she would seem a little more three-dimensional. She seems so willing to accept Gereon's explanation that it almost seems like she's simply obeying his word instead of listening to it.
| Who Is This Girl Anyway 10/16/11 . chapter 1
The castle motif is gorgeous. I like how you've described it as being left with only the bare bones- essentially, that's all the girl's been given back, too.
The characters were consistent, and I'm glad that they ended up reunited. You did well with their dialogue and giving their speech an archaic feel- there's something a little irritating about stories that use "Okay" and "Whatever" in Elizabethan England, so I'm glad you kept away from that mistake.