Well done! Great piece! Your a really good writer!

My review rhymes with the last line of your poem:

-I know how you feel.

I live five houses down from you!

Sorry something was needed to lighten the mood...

-em

you're what i call an emotional writer(like me). you dont write because it rhymes or because it has a format, it's what you feel and you need to express so you do it through your writing.