|Reviews for The Atlas Puzzle|
| Tarsiel 9/24/11 . chapter 17
Wow, please update! I've been reading this and, wow, it's so good you defintely should have gotten more reviews.
| willfullcookie 9/21/11 . chapter 2
Just finished chapter one, looks promising
| The Unpredictable Muse 8/29/11 . chapter 3
The focus of the chapter is narrow on one event, which is good. However, you left it with a flat ending. Flat endings are good to add mixture so the reader doesn't get bored. I am surprised that the bullies disappeared instead of Virgil, but that's a sign of development snuck in without being blatant. However, my only complaint is the brutality of this 'Patrick'. He sounds like he should be expelled from High School already. Who uses brass knuckles when you have four bullies and a secluded setting? That was my only complaint with it. However, I loved the background description. I could picture the bridge and Greensborough.
* Excellent work thus far on maintaining my interest thus far. Your skills have impressed me, and I liked a few of your phrases thus far. you definitely have something that stands out, a perspective that is different.
| The Unpredictable Muse 8/29/11 . chapter 2
Chapter two introduced intriguing and intertwining new characters. I particularly liked how you looped in the previous chapter with the part time worker at the book store. I am more interested in how this 'game' between the three sets of friends is possible. I can tell that the setting is definitely hinting more toward futuristic than than modern days. I think the cliff hanger on whether Virgil gets his ass kicked is a good choice. I can safely say it can go either way, which is what you want every other reader to think. When you put characters into danger, the readers are worried. The more worried they are, the closer they get to your characters. However, if you aren't careful, some of the characters can become blurred together if they don't have a quirk or two that separates them from everyone else. I only recommend this because characters make the story just as much as the story makes the characters. If one doesn't work, then the balance is off. It would be a shame to let this young adult story be ruined by an imbalance.
* Hope I'm not being too annoying. Been reading too many self help writing books lately.
| The Unpredictable Muse 8/29/11 . chapter 1
I found Virgil a very realistic character, and the idea of his ability is a spin on the many tried super abilities. When I read further into this plot, I hope its as good as the first chapter. For a modern story, it has a pinch of futuristic with the invisibility machine. You did that well. The classroom scene was believeable as well. Overall, I would give it a four out of five stars, and the reason for four out of five instead of the full five is because I think that you should have displayed the effect the machine had on a person who could already become invisible. That was the only question that popped in my head after reading this, because there is a chance that the machine could affect his ability, and this possibility should be at least mentioned.
* And if you could be so kind, I look forward to receiving a review from you. :)