The repeating verse works great in this poem. It acts like the ribbons of a package, keeping it all together. I loved this one. It was great. Talent is spilling from your soul.

Great job!

Hey there, how have you been?

I think you have done a fabulous job with this one. This piece is so right, and the metaphors are lovely. There are particular lines that remind me of affirmations.

In a brown paper bag that I call my own

A fire ignites

It burns my memories

A core of thoughts

A world a unchanged dreams

Let go

Into Ashes

Like faded Memories

That was my favourite part of the whole piece, and I really adore the first stanza too.

In concern to the repeting stanza, I prefer this piece not to have it. I don't mind repetition of lines but more makes it seem like a song to me.

But on another note, this piece would be a great spoken word poem. All it would need is a couple tweaks and it'd be great, in my opipnion.

Lovely job with this piece. *applaudes* :)

I absolutely adored this! Brilliant writing, and I really liked the repeating verse; I felt it gathered meaning the more it was repeated. Brilliant job!

X D

I like how fast paced it is! I think my mind is still buzzing after it! :D it's great! I really enjoyed it and I like the repeated verse it centres it more! I think this would make a superb song with a nice bit of bass...

LOVE IT!

-Click- FAVOURITED!