|Reviews for The Other Side of Death|
| Anihyr Moonstar 10/2/12 . chapter 1
[The smile distorted his face to where she could barely recognize him. It made his face softer and gentler.] I find this to be extremely odd wording. "Distorted" usually implies something bad - ominous, groutesque, even, almost always changed in a bad way - but the sentence that follows seems to counter that feel entirely. It feels like two disjointed puzzle pieces.
[It all happened so fast that she didn't know what happened.] Using "happened" twice in one sentence sounds awkward. I would find another way to word one of those portions.
[Threw a small gap between the cloth and the ground...] Should be "through". "Threw" is a verb (to throw), and it threw me off (no pun intended) for a bit at first. ;)
[she asked threw her tears.] *through
I'm confused at the end. He said she wasn't dead - her heart was still beating, but her only choices were to haunt, to move on, or to join him. Those sound like those would be the options if she was fully dead. It's a good start to a story, mind you. I think the writing (a few typos aside) is very readable and brisk, but a few things don't make much sense.