|Reviews for Phantasmal|
| Lonnee 11/21/11 . chapter 1
:D Good start for the prologue! Keep up the good work and I can't wait for the next Chapter!
| Tazz4life 9/8/11 . chapter 1
Wonderful writing! Intense, beautiful, quick enough to keep me interested, but not so action-packed as to lose the story line. Well... It IS only the prologue, but it's really good. I can't wait until you get more up so I can keep reading.
| Bad Mittens 9/7/11 . chapter 1
Since we're in a forum together, I decided to look at your story.
Great so far, I can't wait to read the rest. It did remind me a lot of the movie the Others, including the point in your story that ghosts are as human as us. The part where the woman died kind of shocked me, as I wasn't ready for someone to die so early on in the story.
Well, people were already dead so it doesn't matter. :D
| creating.myself 9/4/11 . chapter 1
Okay, I haven't read the whole thing yet - I'm seriously three paragraphs in. But I'm going to make this suggestion before I forget.
In the sentence, "The house had its own sound, a forbidding silence that rang in your ears until it drove you mad," perhaps you should use the word "foreboding" instead of "forbidding." I think it might be more of what you're looking for. Here's why - "foreboding" is defined, "Noun: Fearful apprehension; a feeling that something bad will happen. Adjective: Implying or seeming to imply that something bad is going to happen." On the other hand, forbidding, an adjective, is defined as "Unfriendly or threatening in appearance." And when I think of the silence in that house, I think about an presence that warns through its eerie silence that one is to trust one's apprehension because something bad WILL happen.
Just a thought. :)
| Josephiney 9/4/11 . chapter 1
I really like this! It was a really original way of looking at ghosts, well done :) I have to congratulate you on the voice of Charlotte, she really does sound like an old-fashioned lady! (although a smattering of 1920s slang wouldn't hurt :P)
Keep up the good work!