I swear, I can Zach brushing away his long, black, silky hair in the air, then say," Bitch, I'm fabulous." I am so sorry dirtying your review box, but I the URGE to do so. I apologize beforehand and...after...hand.

These are soo... short. I need to read more to become satisfied.

...I am so sorry about saying this, but I have to. In the beginning... it sound like 927826 or Zach, currently, is violently getting raped. I am so sorry. Just, yeah.

Well, the chapter was just wonderful. I love the dialogue! Love it soo much!

Oh snap crackle pop, I did not see that coming. Make this ending a romance and it will resemble my 7th grade short story. "I love you Cailyn!" "Well, too bad, you're going to the FBI for sexual assault." "Whaaaatt!?" *End Scene*

Perfect. I love the detail and thought process. Ebony seems to be the incentive to the plot. It almost seems like she is the main character (who knows.) She kind of like a black sheep!(if you thought about that when you were naming her.) I hope to see just as good in your latest story.

"Anonymous": Ah, so this is the world of "Perfect"! (looks around) It's more, uh…primitive than I'd imagined.

Bluefield: Cut the act; I know you were here before. And are you insulting the Writer, or the system? 'cause tDT would strangle you.

"Anonymous": Hey, the system's the one ruling with fear and order, like some Templar ideology. Plus, tDT is against that kind of life, right? So you tell me.

Bluefield: Fair enough. (to Writer) The starting chapter was a bit of a spoiler (the second sentence), but I really liked the story regardless. Hope you keep up the good work.

If only there were a way to bring Zach's memory back.

Hey...maybe if... I'll be right back! (runs off, leaving everyone bemused)

Yay! I feel proud to say I helped to plot the ending! Congrats on finishing! I was sad Lauren died though...But yay!

This really does look like 1984. But how do you reverse it, I wonder...? :-(

Oh, no. I was kinda hoping that Ch. 13 was just a dream.

Agh! Stupid gods-damned SYSTEM!

It's for stories like this that I follow authors and not just stories.

Oh, crap. It's starting to really look like that George Orwell novel 1984. (The story probably won't make it into the Lightman project if it ends similarly.)

Yay for not deleting perfect! Have you got your mojo back?

Anyways, onto the review!

Slightly too much obvious foreshadowing for my taste, but it may just be that I knew what was coming, so listen to people who don't help you plot.

Other stuff: Are you going to the Hogg's place tonight? If your answer is no, change it to a yes, and we shall talk more there. (My parents are making me go, so please say you're going...)

Much love

-N

Major filler chapter, get on with the action, you can do better than this. :)

This chapter's short and boring. Make it better/longer?