| Reviews for Fantasy Tales |
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BWnovelist 5/8/12 . chapter 4Four chapters to reach the premise; short chapters but still. Anyway, I like this chapter. Maybe my favorite yet and for two reasons: it moved the plot further than the other three and I wasn't expecting Humanity to Ensue with the bird. |
BWnovelist 5/8/12 . chapter 3Better! Better on all counts! Its longer it has more scene to balance the dialogue and there's more of a plot. Even so I still would have merged all three of these chapters together: for length to keep the birthday together, and the for the sort-of cliffhanger ending of this chapter. I was wondering when the protagonist's friend would show up. He was in the summary after all. |
BWnovelist 5/8/12 . chapter 2Ah, frame narrative! Personally I would have combound these two chapters so you dont' sound like you're ripping off a long dead storytellers. I would have liked to see what the costumes are. You know, some details to set the scene. There's a lot of dialogue here and not describtion. |
BWnovelist 5/8/12 . chapter 1One does not get reviews for retells Grimm tales. I'll continue reading because I had the same habit about a decade ago. |
illusionae 3/19/12 . chapter 1I love fairy tales! I'm liking this story so far and I think it's really original of you to think of this! :) |
I'm AWESOME 11/26/11 . chapter 8I just noticed...I think you use the word 'silhouette" a lot ) |
Lynn K. Hollander 9/12/11 . chapter 1Two comments about the presentation: 1) HTML tags show here. [i] and [/i]. I post straight Open Office text, and the simpler fonts/effects -italics and BOLD- show up in the posted story.I don't use tags here at all. 2) "Good day, Little Red Riding Hood." the wolf greeted & "Thank you, kindly wolf." Little Red Riding Hood replied. The standard punctuation for dialogue tag sentences, which the above examples are, is "Good day, Little Red Riding Hood(COMMA)," the wolf greeted & "Thank you, kindly wolf(COMMA)," Little Red Riding Hood replied. This is because, in this construction, what was said and who said it are parts of the same sentence. Check any Dick and Jane Reader or any Harry Potter/JKRowling novel. |