|Reviews for Destinations|
| CobboseeWriter 12/19/12 . chapter 2
I've read two chapters and so far it's good. The characters are realistic. The description is good and not over done, as is the dialog. I like the pace; you keep the story moving along.
After two chapters, I wonder where this is going. As in the case of a detective story where someone is killed by the second page, I wonder if you could fore shadow the plot a little; a few hints about conflict or drama to come. Just a thought, not a criticism.
I will read more.
| cutelittlelawyer 11/30/12 . chapter 26
Ohh...yay! Susan's getting a place with lots of land and a barn. I think I see horses in her future. )
lol nice going, Rick! He seems to have gotten out ahead of Danny. Questionable tactic, but undoubtedly effective. )
| cutelittlelawyer 11/30/12 . chapter 25
I'm happy to have found my way back to this story at last! Wow... a lot happens in this chapter! I feel like cheering Susan on as she's going for her dream. Also, I love how Russ turned up again, and how he intervened for Susan to get the equipment. hahaha Mrs. Foggart had me giggling! I've actually met a few 'Mrs. Foggart' types in real life. In fact, my landlady during second year of law school could've easily qualified as a Mrs. Foggart. (her ex was called David as well, ironically enough.)
| TheDarkArtist 10/8/12 . chapter 6
This was a very full and complete chapter and yet another satisfying piece of the large Destinations pie :)
I'm learning a lot about how to shape characters that are children from you. That, plus my lack of knowledge of all things horses. I realize I don't know even the basic fundamentals of that subject and it's nice to learn something new (and hopefully I'll mark 'ride a horse' off my bucket list one day).
It would drive me crazy to know I omitted a small word, so I'll point it out-the word 'it' in this sentence:
According to Uncle Pete, was un-American to pass through Kansas City without consuming a Flintstone portion of ribs.
Still loving the story!
| TheDarkArtist 10/7/12 . chapter 5
It's been a bit since I've been able to jump back into this story, but it continues to grab me as a reader. I love the innocence of how a child sees and hears things and interprets them so literally-it reminds me of my own children. And I like the likeness of the Cadillac floating down the highway like an exotic fish. I'm not sure how the whole chapter could be summed up by naming it after the suitcase, but that's no big deal. It's nice to start seeing how she exudes her interest in horses in the story. I hope to read more about that subject in the following chapters.
When I was in the fourth grade, the class and teacher read aloud together "Where the Red Fern Grows", one of my all-time favorite novels. Your story gives me some of that same sense of old-timey reminiscence and I can picture your story being read amongst a class of fresh young minds with great satisfaction.
| 44musicfreak44 9/7/12 . chapter 1
I liked this, a lot. Particularly how you drew in the part with Susan flying as a young kid. Most kids idol superheroes and wish for superpowers, to be different, and I thought bringing the theme of flying into her feelings of wanting to be special was a wise decision.
Great so far and I'm off to read more :)
| TheDarkArtist 8/26/12 . chapter 4
Another great chapter, "Bottle Bombs". The Dr Pepper reference was the perfect way to date the era and I remember my mom's large collection of vintage DP memorabilia and bottles. The custodian showing up and the drama which quickly ensued was gripping, but the best part was the deer that gave Susan her out. All very carefully written and I continue to enjoy this story.
| TheDarkArtist 8/21/12 . chapter 3
I read another chapter, "Grade School Daze" and I shall plunder on through this fun tale of life and growth! I continue to enjoy reading about Susan and her days in school resound with such truth that I find myself in a time machine to my own past (though as a young boy instead named Jeremy). I love the part about the children desiring the honor of clapping the erasers clean during recess and the icing of that part of the story was when Susan was in third grade and " No one ever wanted to slap Mrs. Hermann's erasers clean." Every part of this is a well-worded account of youth! You end the chapter with Susan's ability to conjure up magic with the swing set and the last line is great..."Sometimes, when she least expected it, her magical powers would work again. Today was proof of that."
I can't wait to read more as time permits and I guess I'm committing to a review of each chapter if that is okay with you.
I'll be posting something new very soon-I look forward to sharing more work!
| TheDarkArtist 8/13/12 . chapter 2
I've read your first two chapters and I promise to read more as time permits, but I sincerely wanted to give you a huge thumbs up on the world and characters you've created in this story. Your description flows smoothly with the narrative and I absolutely love the dialogue. It's genuine. Do you have any short stories to post? I'd love to read other things you've written as well.
A big thanks also for reviewing my first posted story. I can't wait to finish my next "smallish" project titled "Save Her". Your opinion/critique of it will be well-received.
Again, I plan to read more of this and as I do I shall review futher! Cheers!
| E Thornton Goode Jr 5/28/12 . chapter 1
This story has the feel of the wonderful old movies of the 40s and 50s. Terrific description and details. You are right there with Susan in every moment. Truly, you will laugh at the humor in so many of the situations...and yes...you will cry a little, too. The author has captured what I think it means to be a good writer, moving the reader emotionally. Five Stars. Please take the time to read it. You WILL NOT be disappointed.
| Rumors of War 5/27/12 . chapter 29
This was an outstanding story! You have a very good eye for detail a lot of the incidents described in this story happened to me as well, There were a lot of things I could identify with (been to Wall Drug on anf off for over 50 years) I'm certainly adding this to my favorites list, way to go!
| cutelittlelawyer 5/8/12 . chapter 24
Oh my...Chrissy is certainly living dangerously! The assault was a shocking turn of events that I didn't -quite- see coming.
I had to grin at the comment that Rick should've changed his name to Averill. LOL
| cutelittlelawyer 5/8/12 . chapter 23
ugh...Trevor ( He turned out to be a real piece of work. Personally, I think Susan is well rid of him. It's awful how he spread all those rumours about her, too. At least her family believed her! It's nice that families can always be counted on.
I was happy that Susan wrote a nice post card to Russ.
hmm... I hope June doesn't move to Florida with Roland, but I have the feeling she's going to.
another great chapter!
| cutelittlelawyer 5/6/12 . chapter 22
great chapter! I missed Uncle Pete and Aunt Mae, and it was fun to see Uncle Pete in his new "natural habitat" LOL I have to say I completely agree with Susan's views on dogs. I'm also very glad that she confronted Trevor about his lies. Hmm...I'm getting VERY worried about Chrissy now! Mae does seem like the type to think the worst, but a mother usually does know best. I'll be interested to see what happens next.
| cutelittlelawyer 5/5/12 . chapter 21
Oh man... Kool and Trevor just keep getting more weird and questionable (and entertaining) as this story goes along! I LOL'd at this: "Oh, that's Kool and Trevor, calling out to the Sasquatch in his own language," So funny!
Russ intrigues me. I felt really bad for him about losing Anne and their baby. :( That was a nice "normal" moment between Susan and Mum, though. Mum actually seems quite a bit more normal than her husband, actually.
This was a really great chapter, on so many levels!