Don't get me wrong, I do like the poem. It seems overly repetitive though

I think it would have added more dramatic appeal if the character would replace certain lines with things like 'leave me alone' or 'you'll never leave me, why won't you leave me?' stuff like that... It'd make it seem as if she's having an argument with herself over whether or not to trust this other person...

It was okay, but after the third- or was it fourth- time of you repeating the same phrase I was like 'when is thus going to be over'... Hence the reason why i mentioned to change a line or two.