|Reviews for Letter of Intent|
| Anihyr Moonstar 3/9/13 . chapter 1
Interesting. Well, I read it before "Speaking Freely?" because it said in the summary that this took place first so I thought it made sense timeline wise, haha. Oh well. I feel like I could put the pieces together reasonably well regardless, which is good - it means there's enough detail in here to make it a cohesive (mini) story without prerequisites.
Something tells me Kellan is Tristan's teacher? ("If I was just a student to you..." "...as soon as I graduate, you won't have an excuse to hide behind..." Etc.) If that is the case, though, I feel like there's a bit of a disconnect between Tristan's tone and the situation. Especially in the opening when he says that Kellan is scared and promises he essentially 'won't be like those other guys'. To me that just sounds at least like something a high school guy says to the shy girl who has had a lot of past boyfriends (which I guess a teacher wouldn't be *immune* to necessarily, but it feels strange that a high schooler would feel like they have something to teach an adult about relationships, lol).
Anyway. Maybe if I knew the full story I wouldn't even be making that comment, so I'll leave it. I do like what I can see of Tristan's character - headstrong, positive, unwilling to back down and confident to the point of cocky (especially in that "P.S.", hah). I do wonder why Tristan's nineteen as a senior in high school (very old compared to myself who was seventeen when I graduated) but hey, stuff happens, and again that's probably something that would make more sense if I'd read the other piece.
All around, pretty cute. Nice job. :)
| Weeping Duck 9/30/11 . chapter 1
Now I haven't read Speaking Freely, but I found that this letter stands strong on its on as well. The spunk and determination from Tristan speaks clearly, and the letter makes me want to know what lengths he will go to for Kellan, who has quite the mystery created around him. Your character development is grand.
Your fifth paragraph contains the only typo that stuck out to me, where you typed 'fee' instead of 'feel.' Otherwise, your grammar was great!
All in all, excellent work from you!