|Reviews for Getting Over It All|
| Beautility 10/18/11 . chapter 1
Holy wall of text Batman. I'm going to guess you're a forum roleplayer with paragraphs like that. In story writing, it helps to abuse the enter button now and again, for the sake of clarity and not losing your audience.
It'd be a waste for you to lose that audience too, because your writing is very fluid and descriptive. Focusing on it is just going to be a problem for most people.