|Reviews for All here hereafter|
| SmashedIce.X 10/19/11 . chapter 1
This is really good, great writing as always! :)
| simpleplan13 10/15/11 . chapter 1
"looks for direction in the resurrection of the glib hereafter"... I sort of got lost with this line. Is it what she is doing or is it the sun? If it's her than you have she is in the beginning so it would be looking not looks.
"afar, chaste/like so much dust on your hands;"... I didn't get why dust would be chaste? I dunno if I'm just missing something or what...
"swell, teeth taught to foreheads,"... a period after that would probably be better
"in the ever after hereafter;/eve of the evening setting sun,"... I liked this with the play on repeating after and then eve.
"bitten with internal monologue/that sounds better unspoken"... I loved that description. I also think a period after unspoken would be good though.
Not my favorite piece of yours, but I did like the descriptions of her in the ending. The whole piece painted a really interesting picture of this girl.
PS Review Marathon this weekend (link in my profile)